‘It’s Not My Fault You Picked A Low-Paying Career,’ Says 28-Year-Old Tech Worker Earning $130K Who Splits Bills 50/50 With His $45K Teacher Girlfriend
A 28-year-old tech worker told his girlfriend that her lower income wasn’t her responsibility after she asked him to reconsider how they split living expenses.
Story, shared The original poster on the r/AmIOverreacting subreddit describes how the couple, who earn $130,000 and $45,000 respectively, have been splitting rent, food and utilities equally since they started living together three months ago. When he suggested splitting expenses by income, she refused, saying, “It’s not my fault you chose a low-paying career.”
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It Feels Unfair to Divide
The teacher said she now spends about 60 percent of her salary on shared expenses, while her boyfriend spends around 20 percent. He wrote that the 50/50 deal they struck seemed fair at first, but quickly became unmanageable. Despite his efforts to save money or enjoy nights out, his partner keeps going buying new technological devices and going out with friends.
When she wanted to set the split to 70/30 or 65/35, he accused her of trying to take advantage of him financially. If he couldn’t afford their lifestyle, he said, he should find a higher-paying job or move to a cheaper apartment.
The disagreement led him to question what justice means in a relationship. split the costs equally or fairly.
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Reddit Focuses on Separation
Many Reddit users argued that fairness in relationships should reflect both incomes, not just a fixed percentage.
One commenter wrote: “50/50 is fair if your expenses are based on what you can afford rather than what he can afford. So moving to a cheaper place might be a reasonable solution to the problem. Otherwise, you are right, the sharing of expenses should be proportional to income.”
Not everyone agreed. “You’re trying to take advantage of him. If he can’t afford the house you’re renting, you should have insisted on a cheaper one. He’s being more than reasonable by suggesting the two of you move somewhere cheaper. You don’t want a cheaper place though… you want him to spend his money on a nicer place while you load up for free,” another user replied.
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Others focused on the couple’s hasty decision to move in together. “So you’re not making financial commitments together by signing a lease after five months without even knowing each other’s financial situation. If she doesn’t know what he’s doing, that means she won’t find out if he’s in huge debt too until it’s too late,” one commenter added.
But not everyone sympathized. “Just because he makes more than you doesn’t mean he owes you anything. You haven’t even been together for a year, why would he support you?” one user disagreed.
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