Japanese bear-fightin’ robo-wolves are pure unleaded nightmare fuel but they’re working
There’s so much going on in the world that it’s really hard to stay informed about everything. But one thing I can’t believe isn’t talked about more is Japan’s problem with bear attacks.
In fact, it got so bad that they turned to robot wolves to deal with it.
Killer Bears vs. Robot Wolves? Everyone take your hands off. I’m writing a script for what’s sure to be a Syfy channel movie. Channel movie if not already.
A sign warning people that bears are in the area. (Photo: ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS / AFP)
Bear encounters are on the rise in Japan; Since the beginning of 2025, 200 injuries and 13 deaths have been reported. The situation has become so bad that, according to Popular ScienceThey even had to deploy the army to solve the problem.
JAPAN DEPLOYS MILITARY AFTER RECORD BEAR ATTACKS NATIONWIDE
Maybe someone was watching “Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla” and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla and I thought, “Hey, let’s throw some robots at this problem.”
They did, and it proved to be the secret weapon. Monster Wolf is a $4,000 robot designed to scare bears, deer, and seemingly anything else it wants with its sensors and sound effects.
Because this might be the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.
So… did they have to go to such lengths?
I think you can scare most animals by hitting a tree trunk with a stick; You don’t need a robotic version of one of Cerberus’ heads.
So yeah, no one seems to know what to do when a bear attacks. Some say you’re rolling in a ball, others say you’re making yourself big. Some say you stayed quiet, some say you blew the air horn in his face.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. GET THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
The Beast Wolf has been around since 2016, but has recently morphed into a tool to fend off bears, and can you blame the bears for not wanting to be anywhere near this thing? (Photo: Richard Atrero de Guzman/NUR Photo)
So, centuries — maybe millennia — after not knowing what to do when a bear charges at you like Leonardo DiCaprio in “The Revenant.”Revenge Turns out the answer, in your opinion, is simple: robot wolves.
The scary robot wolves we will see in our sleep tonight.
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So, imagine you’re out for a walk and you come across it. You wish you were mauled by a bear.
But there is a problem. They seem to be working and are having a hard time keeping up with demand as each Beast Wolf is custom made.
