Michigan State’s spring game shenanigans are a crime against humanity

As the weather continues to warm and campuses further north begin spring football activities, another round of college football spring games took place across the country earlier this week.

While most programs are using this time to refine their quarterback depth chart or figure out what their two-deep play looks like along the offensive line, there are others who see spring games as a celebration for fans as well as a culmination of players’ hard work this winter.

For some, this will mean an open workout, while others will host a seven-on-seven demonstration or even a skills competition.

All of this means that what happened Saturday afternoon in East Lansing, Mich., with the Michigan State Spartans was not only none of the above, but that the program should be seriously considered for the death penalty.

What on earth did I just watch?

We’re having a lot of fun here, but somewhere I have to draw the line, and dazzling at-bat runs instead of spring play may well be that line.

“Oh, but Austin, they’re just having fun! They work hard in the winter. They deserve a day of release.”

Let me ask you something: is losing fun?

Because since their 11-win season and Peach Bowl victory in 2021, the Spartans haven’t won more than five games.

I also know they’re still playing spring games after this little bat race, but seriously, you’re trying to prove to your fan base that you’re here to revitalize a once-proud football program, not to throw Founders’ Day at a Fortune 500 company.

Michigan State Spartans helmets. (Photo: Steven Branscombe/Getty Images)

Speaking of fans, what a slap in the face for this to be delivered in the middle of a spring game in the first year of the new coaching regime.

Right now I can tell you this: My team is in the first year of a new coaching staff and can’t wait to return to the glory days of the past. If that bat race had taken place in the Swamp at any point during our spring game, I would have started a bonfire with every Florida produce I owned.

Our fans would make January 6th look like story time at the local preschool.

If the comments are any indication, Spartan fans aren’t exactly thrilled either.

The jokes practically write themselves.

That’s another reason why this is a terrible idea: bad optics.

Pat Fitzgerald better pray his team goes 8-4 or better this season, otherwise the GIFs made from this will be epic.

I’ll be rooting for you, Sparty, but we’re a long way from the Mark Dantonio days in East Lansing.