‘My undiagnosed ADHD was biggest catalyst in going missing – why aren’t we talking about it?’
A.When J Grange was only 13 years old, he disappeared from home many times. He was expelled from school, had trouble with the police, and was suspended for disorderly conduct. In reality, he was a child in crisis, struggling with undiagnosed ADHD and sinking into depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.
“I didn’t want anyone to see me,” Mr Grange said Independent. “The easiest option for me was to run, run, get lost… This only happened a few times, not just once… It was almost like a defense mechanism for when I normally struggle mentally and with my neurodivergence.”
Independent It is joining forces with Missing People to launch a new service that will be a lifeline for children in crisis. Co-designed and piloted by young people themselves, SafeCall will deliver the support, security and connection they need.
Our aim is to raise £165,000 to help fund this free service so that the 70,000 children reported missing each year can be brought to safety. The charity currently reaches a quarter of these children, and with your support SafeCall will reach many more.
donate Here or text SAFE to 70577 to donate £10 to Missing People, enough for one child to get help.
The charity, along with senior psychologists, have previously warned that children with neurodivergence may be at greater risk of getting lost and at greater risk of harm, such as exploitation, while they are away. Despite evidence from frontline services, Missing People says there is still a serious lack of official research and early indications suggest the extent of the problem may be much greater than records currently captured.
There are fears that young people with conditions such as autism and ADHD will be left out of the specialist support they need, and the charity is calling for special interventions to prevent children falling through the gaps.
Mr Grange, from Essex, said he was one of these young people as he joined calls for more targeted support. “Neurodivergence is what makes me who I am, it gave me all the strengths I’ve had in my life, but it also gave me a lot of negatives because I wasn’t diagnosed. At the time I was lost, I didn’t know what was going on. And it led to suspensions, getting in trouble with the police, going in and out of court, detentions, lockdowns, you name it.”
“And that was the biggest catalyst for me getting lost, 100 percent. When I got lost, I took a break from everything. But even when I got lost, my brain wouldn’t shut down because ADHD goes a thousand miles an hour. I was thinking too much, I was nervous, I was thinking, what’s going to happen, what will my family think, what will my friends think?”
“So this is a huge problem, and I think that’s one of the things that’s being overlooked. We seem to be overlooking neurodivergence.”
It is estimated that more than 15 per cent of people in the UK are neurodivergent, according to NHS Scotland. Before his diagnosis, Mr Grange said he struggled with low self-esteem and emotional dysregulation, “hating myself, thinking I couldn’t understand myself, thinking I was bad, naughty, not smart, lazy”.
Disappearing multiple times between the ages of 13 and 15, he was diagnosed with ADHD at 16 and his disappearances were stopped soon after. “After I was diagnosed, I understood myself better, which gave me clarity and stopped all the negative things, getting lost and struggling. [drugs] and it changed my life,” said Mr Grange, who has now been diagnosed with dyspraxia.
“If my ADHD had been understood, I would not have continued on the shocking mental health journey I embarked on with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and suicide attempts. These were all linked to my ADHD and my then-undiagnosed neurodivergence. My ADHD was the biggest catalyst for being lost, and the lack of understanding of my ADHD was even bigger.”
Now a consultant for Missing People, he said an “excellent, reliable” service like SafeCall could change the course of his life. “If something like this had happened when I was younger, I wouldn’t have felt everything I felt, I wouldn’t have been lost all the time. It’s so important for people to donate and see this as an important cause, because we don’t want another lost generation to be lost.”
This is especially critical for neurodivergent youth, he added. Missing People says sector charities have raised concerns that neurologically different children account for a disproportionately high number of missing people. Mr Grange said: “Why do one in seven people have neurodivergence but we don’t talk about neurodivergence when young people go missing?”
In a message to young people at risk of disappearing, Mr Grange, who now works as a speaker, entrepreneur and neurodiversity advocate, said “there is strength in difference” and urged his younger self to learn more about his diagnosis, “realize your potential and realize your strengths”.
Please donate now To the Independent and Missing Persons’ Safe Call campaign, which aims to raise £165,000 to create a free, nationwide service to help vulnerable children find safety and support.
If you or a loved one is lost, text or call the charity Missing People on 116 000 for advice, support and options. It’s free, confidential and non-judgmental. Or visit www.missingpeople.org.uk/get-help
If you are experiencing feelings of distress or finding it difficult to cope, you can speak to Samaritans confidentially on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org or visit . Samaritans Website to find details of your nearest branch. If you are a US resident and you or someone you know needs mental health help right now, call or text 988 or visit: 988lifeline.org To access online chat on the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis helpline available to anyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country you can go www.befrienders.org To find a helpline near you.
