Anthony Hopkins, 87, admits he believed alcoholism would ‘kill’ him as he laments walking out on his first wife and estranged baby daughter and brands it ‘the greatest regret of his life’

Sir Anthony Hopkins has admitted his alcohol addiction would ‘kill’ him as he ‘regrets’ leaving his first wife and young daughter.

The 87-year-old Academy Award-winning Welsh actor reflects on the challenges he has faced in his life in his memoir We Did Ok, Kid, which will be published on Tuesday.

The Silence of the Lambs actor admitted that binge drinking has become the norm in his family and the theater world. However, he ended up fighting with the directors and went onstage drunk with his colleagues.

As the autobiography prepared to hit the shelves, he said: Guard: ‘It was terrible. In the past, if you were on stage and didn’t know where you were or why you were there, ten minutes were added to the play.

‘It was just a done thing… Yes, we are rebels. We can fight. Who cares about the establishment? As you grow up, it’s healthy to want to roll with the punches, be rebellious, and survive. And it was kind of fun, I thought.

‘But one day I remember thinking: “Yes, and it’s going to kill you too.”‘

Sir Anthony told how his drinking eventually turned into a dark addiction that also damaged his relationships, leaving behind his first wife and daughter Abigail, 12 months, now 57 (pictured)

The actor is best known for his role as Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs.

Sir Anthony told how his drinking eventually turned into a dark addiction that also damaged his relationships, leaving his first wife and daughter behind at 12 months old.

In an excerpt seen by the Daily Mail, he admitted: ‘This is the saddest fact of my life and my greatest regret, although I am absolutely certain that if I had stayed it would have been much worse for everyone.’

In 1967 he married 83-year-old actress Petronella Barker, the daughter of upper-class BBC actors, with whom he shares a 57-year-old daughter, Abigail, with whom he has not been estranged for more than 20 years.

His drinking saw his relationships deteriorate rapidly, as he admitted explosive fights would ensue where he feared he might turn violent.

He wrote: ‘In the evening I bought bottles of unlicensed whiskey and took them back to the flat. My depression was boundless; drink was my pacifier. I thought. He got very angry.

‘Petronella was pregnant when we realized what a terrible match we were.’

He added: ‘Petronella and I fought often but one night the fight took a new turn. I returned from working at the location in Scotland. Exhausted after endless days on set and the long journey home, I put my suitcases in the hallway.’

Petronella was mocking him before he took off his jacket and said: ‘I had never used physical violence, but at that moment I was filled with such disgust that I began to fear for myself and for him.’

In 1967 he married Petronella Barker (pictured), the daughter of upper-class BBC actors, a union that quickly deteriorated.

His drinking and dark depression led actor and director Laurence Olivier to advise him to see a psychiatrist, but he refused. Pictured: Oscar-winning actor for The Silence of the Lambs

Now his attitude appears to have changed, with his current wife admitting she wouldn’t ‘waste blood’ on her daughter, who ignored her invitation to visit.

he said New York Times: ‘My wife Stella sent an invitation to come and see us. Not a word of answer. I think it’s okay, okay. I wish him good luck, but I won’t waste blood on this.

‘If you want to waste your life resentment, fine, go ahead. not in my mind [knowledge or understanding]. I can carry resentment to the past, but this is death. You are not alive.

‘You have to accept one thing: we are flawed. We are not saints. We are all sinners, saints, or whatever we are.’

His drinking and dark depression led actor and director Laurence Olivier to advise him to see a psychiatrist, but he refused. Sunday Times.

But the breaking point for him was when he once drove all night from Arizona to Beverly Hills drunk and could have killed someone.

He admitted: ‘It’s a deadly lifestyle because I didn’t care about myself. I could have wiped out a whole family… I knew I needed help, I knew it was over.’

Shortly after the incident he saw his former manager at a party and confessed to them: ‘I need help’, after which he turned his life around with the help of a 12-step program in Los Angeles.

The book is dedicated to his third wife, Stella (left), whom he met after drinking had destroyed his first two marriages.

Last December, he marked nearly five decades of sobriety via social media.

Anthony told his more than 5.3 million followers that help is available for those seeking help.

Wrapped Up, Kid will be released on November 4, following a somber account of his life and career.

The book is dedicated to his third wife, Stella, whom he met after drinking had destroyed his first two marriages.

He writes that he is tormented by alcohol and depression, and likens himself to his most legendary character, the serial killer Hannibal Lecter.

“I instinctively felt exactly how to play Hannibal,” he writes of the villain in The Silence of the Lambs, “I have the devil inside me.” There is evil in all of us. ‘I know what scares people.’