‘Nobody would have believed me’: Furious readers on why rape trials keep failing women

C.Harlotte Proudman’s argument about ‘himpathy’ (disproportionate sympathy shown to male perpetrators of sexual violence on female victims) triggered a powerful wave of reaction. Independent Readers following a controversial rape sentencing case.

In her article, Proudman argues that the justice system often places boys’ futures, vulnerabilities, and potential for rehabilitation at the center of sentencing decisions, while girls’ lifelong harm is sidelined as secondary or inevitable collateral damage.

This framing struck a nerve with our community; Many expressed anger at what they saw as overly lenient outcomes in cases involving serious sexual violence. A recurring concern was that the use of mitigating factors such as youth, neurodivergence, or lack of understanding of the risk of consent to temper accountability reinforces the idea that male offenders are fundamentally “redeemable” in ways that the harm to victims is not.

As well as this, there was also a strong focus on the survivors’ own experiences: the lasting psychological impact, the trauma of the court proceedings and the sense that justice rarely reflects the severity of what they endured.

Here’s what you need to say:

Women are always excluded

Women have always suffered the consequences of men’s sexual misdeeds and violence; and always their anxieties and traumas were dismissed as ‘okay, you’ll get over it’. And I sincerely hope that the girls who have experienced such severe trauma receive all the social and psychological help they need for as long as they need it. Unfortunately, they were traumatized; Nothing can change this now.

I would like to differ on how this would affect the offender’s sentence and whether an ostensibly criminal sentence actually helps the victim. And if so, for how long?

What many do not take into account is the age of the perpetrators at the time of the crimes; What motivated and encouraged them to act this way? How can they best prevent themselves and others from repeating such behavior? Is prison time really a deterrent, or is close supervision, control of their behavior, and a chance for them to truly learn how awful and inexcusable their behavior is, a better way to reduce the potential for reoccurrence?

And maybe society can work harder to eliminate the things that encourage boys to be so misogynistic, and men can work on more equitable attitudes towards women!

Suzisu1

The welfare of victims must come first

I’ve just been listening to a senior legal expert on Radio 4. When a judge comes to sentence a child, he said, his first concern is the child’s welfare. The boy in question is now a convicted rapist.

Ensure their well-being.

I care about the welfare of victims who were filmed by an accomplice while their human rights to privacy and family life were violated.

TomHawk

I demand the protection of women

Once again, I was appalled by the heartless opinions of the seemingly mostly male judges. Considering the few details that emerged about the defendant during the trial, I see no reason to praise them on anything. This crime was not only very bad; It was an abomination.

As a man, I have or have had a mother, wife, daughter and grandchildren; I demand that they not be harmed with all the authority we can give to our police and judiciary. With this judge present, I have no confidence that my standard of protection will be provided to my female relatives. The perpetrators of these despicable acts deserve long prison sentences and the contempt of the entire country, and the judge should either be permanently removed from office or undergo a process of training to appreciate generally accepted views about acceptable behavior in young teenage boys.

Lasgarn

‘Good girls’ don’t get into trouble

Much worse. There is a universal belief that ‘good girls’ don’t get into trouble, regardless of culture, religion or geography. Beneath all the liberation and liberation we claim lies – contrary to the open carry of this prejudice in some societies – himpati. A significant portion of mothers with only sons will not hesitate to blame the daughter or woman. But we still walk around with a sense of superiority over other conservative cultures.

MS85

This is nothing new

This is nothing new; In the 1990s, my mother was raped by a man she thought was her friend. He was in his sixties; He was about 10 years younger. My father died when he was in his forties, and she had never been intimate with anyone else, and never was after that.

I was not at the hearing; The police, who had been wonderful from the start, were so confident about this that my mum asked me to stay away (victim shame) and instead came to London, where I lived just after Yorkshire, to get away from it. My sister and a good friend were with him and they were horrified.

He beat him; She was covered in bruises, she could barely walk, and the man had torn her clothes. The judge told the jury it could have been a result of ‘enthusiastic sex’. My sister said my mother was waving her torn tights in the air as she said this. He gave her the clap to him, but the lawyer didn’t want to use it because he thought the defense would suggest that he was the one who gave it to her!

The female police officer, who supported him throughout this process, cried at the decision.

I suspect my mother was ‘guilty’ of being naive, of not realizing that this man would not be happy with the company.

He spent a few weeks with me while I tried to help him come to terms with things; She blamed herself for being alone with him throughout. Rape Crisis was great, she offered her help and then turned to me and asked how I was coping.

I dare to suggest that the problem with the justice system and rape cases is that it is run by men, mostly old men.

no comments

Wrong on so many levels

I’m hopeless! And I feel so sorry for the victims.

This is wrong on too many levels to list and the sentencing review cannot avoid imposing a significant prison sentence, if only to set an example to others who might be willing to commit serious crimes…no way, right?

When I was little, parents warned their children not to get a criminal record because it would ruin the rest of their lives. I can’t see how this has changed with authorities now stepping back to allow young criminals to get away with just about anything.

This malaise has now spread to one of the most heinous crimes in existence.

Children who are not disciplined by their parents turn into adults who lack the self-discipline to control their own behavior. I’m not advocating ‘donate the rod and spoil the child’, but children need to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age, and authorities need to be there to intervene if their behavior crosses the line.

MellieC

Why haven’t some things changed?

It just makes my blood boil. My first comment on this website was just a few days ago to declare that I am an angry woman; This is an important reason for this. When I was 12 years old, I was sexually abused by an adult male who saw nothing wrong with his action, even though I told him my age. I was humiliated by everyone and almost expelled from school because I was ‘Lolita’. When I was only 18, I was raped in a car by an elderly acquaintance who invited me to dinner and thought it was his absolute right to have dessert afterwards. I didn’t say this or go to the police because no one would believe me against a man who was a successful businessman and family man, a pillar of society! This was decades ago but it has overshadowed my life until now. Why haven’t some things changed by now?

bumbles

Separating crime from criminal

It’s as if there was a failure to separate the crime from the person who committed it, as if something was ‘less of a crime’ because – in this case – they were young. Of course, the way forward is to separate the establishment of the facts of the crime, impose a sentence accordingly, and only then consider whether there are any mitigating factors that could lead to a reduction in that sentence. By clearly separating these, both evidence of guilt and mitigation should be tested, and perhaps the latter, like the former, should be decided by a jury or at least by someone(s) other than the sole judge.

Caraknell

These cases need female judges

I think the sentence would have been different if the judge had been a woman. It would be interesting to compare the outcomes of rape cases by the gender of the judges.

It was a good thing that Starmer and his ministers promised to protect women and girls. Something definitely needs to be done about how men and boys get away with a slap on the wrist.

So, what do you say about such cases being evaluated only by female judges?

morganedebroceliande

Some of the comments in this article have been edited for brevity and clarity.

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