Donald Trump would not be the worst Nobel Peace Prize recipient

For him, a master at capturing the narrative, it is impossible to believe that this is a coincidence.

Thursday morning Australian time, US President Donald Trump announced He said the first phase of a peace agreement had been reached between Israel and Hamas, supposedly ending two years of horrific massacre. On Friday, the Nobel Peace Prize, which Trump clearly covets, will be announced.

Trump has repeatedly declared that he “deserves the award”; It’s a claim backed by one of those classic Trump statistics: “ended seven warsSince taking office in 2017.

“No president or prime minister has done anything close to this,” he told the UN General Assembly in September. “Everyone says I should receive the Nobel Peace Prize for each of these achievements.”

This dovetails well with the 79-year-old’s own growing obsession with his own death.report“-based on the understanding of what will happen to his soul. When he tells Fox, “I want to try to go to heaven if it is possible,” and concludes: “I hear that I am not well. I heard that I am really at the bottom of the totem pole,” he openly attributed his luck to brokering a peace agreement between Russia and Ukraine: “If I can go to heaven, that will be one of the reasons.”

“I want to be good because you want to prove to God that you are good and you take the next step, right?” minister added this week. “This is very important to me. I think this is really important.”

The governments of Pakistan, Cambodia and, most ostentatiously, Israel Daily Show put itAgree that Trump should get the award (equivalent to OJ Simpson’s “Husband of the Year” nomination). a few more — Gabon, Rwanda, Armenia and Azerbaijan — have generally or specifically endorsed the move.

Although experts agree that Trump I have no chance of winning this yearThey do not rule this out in the future. It’s a victory for Trump, whose commitment to peace this year alone has been proven by sending the military after his own citizens, bombing Iran over the protests of his supporters, and extrajudicial and almost certainly illegal killings in Iran. Alleged drug traffickersThe award will not have a minimum score. In fact, this would be quite fitting for an award established as a real-time act of reputation-laundering, for all its work recognizing and celebrating humanity’s significant achievements.

Swedish scientist Alfred Nobel made his fortune in the invention and production of dynamite and other pioneering work in modern explosives; These studies soon turned from use in industrial processes to war and terrorism. Later, Nobel would be directly interested in arms production, and reasons were put forward that would be familiar to anyone who lived through the Cold War: “Perhaps my factories will put an end to the war… On the day when two corps can destroy each other in a second, all civilized nations will surely turn back with horror and disperse their troops.” in question In 1891.

He read his own obituary in 1888, 20 years after his invention. A French newspaper confused him with his late brother Ludvig and called him “le Marchand de la mort” (“merchant of death”). The story continues This posthumous scrutiny of his fame upset Alfred enough that, upon his death in 1896, he bequeathed his fortune to the awarding of the peace prize.

Trump’s win would put him alongside Mother Theresa, who used her acceptance speech to brilliantly inform the world. The biggest threat to world peace is abortionand former president Barack Obama, who, to be fair, hasn’t killed many of them yet on the Nobel committee Estimated 3,797 people, including 324 civiliansHe served with drone attacks during his two terms.

But these are small amounts of time compared to the overall framework. The real reason why Trump is far from the worst candidate to win the Peace Prize came in 1973, when the award was awarded to then-US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. At this point, Kissinger’s resume included extending the Vietnam war into neighboring Cambodia, support for the horrors committed by the Pakistani military in the 1971 Civil War, and financing, arming, and then betraying the Iraqi Kurdish uprising against Saddam Hussein.

Kissinger received the award along with his Vietnamese counterpart, Le Duc Tho, who refused to accept it. Two members left the Nobel Committee in protest.