RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Just days after the most humiliating defeat in Labour history, the PM insists he is going nowhere. Who are you trying to kid, Starmer? This is why it’s time for a general election

Hello? Here, Keir. Yes, we are. Do you remember us? Voters, the people who pay your salary? Are the people you claim to represent the same people who completely rejected you and your rotten, hopeless government last week?

The same people you now shamefully slander by association as ‘far right’ because we had the audacity to vote for Reform UK?

In your opinion, is the privileged, far-left, deaf North London human rights lawyer who presided over an explosion of anti-Semitism and Islamism leading the country down a ‘dark path’?

How dare you?

Under Starmer, the neo-communist Greens and pro-Hamas extremist alliance has flourished and become a force in British politics for the first time.

Under Starmer, loyal, peaceful, law-abiding, tax-paying British Jews are forced to demonstrate outside Downing Street in mortal fear for their own safety; Meanwhile, Starmer pacifies the vile pro-Gaza mob, bans arms sales to Israel and refuses to ban Iran’s Revolutionary Guard by actively sponsoring death on British streets.

I can’t imagine Mrs Thatcher or Tony Blair being booed when they visit Golders Green. But they cared about British Jews and were not constantly trying to appease militant Muslims in Labor constituencies (for all the good it did for him last week).

Sorry son, but that’s what I call the ‘dark road’. And my instinct is that most of my readers will agree with me.

Angela Rayner has given up ambitions of being Prime Minister to ‘King in the North’ Andy Burnham, Littlejohn says

The other dark path Surkeir is taking us down involves imposing the highest industrial and domestic energy prices in history, in pursuit of Miliband’s unbalanced Net Zero campaign. Then he wonders why there is a cost of living crisis and Scunthorpe’s steelworks need to be renationalised.

Under Starmer, pubs and restaurants are closing daily as a direct result of Rachel From Complaints’ vindictive tax rises and Angry Ginge Rayner’s (more on that in a moment) ‘workers’ rights’ laws. Youth unemployment is soaring due to crazy increases in National Insurance, minimum wage increases and a ban on zero-hour contracts.

Add to this the excessive death duties imposed on British farmers and the imposition of class hatred-driven ‘wealth’ taxes which led to the exodus of wealth and employment creators; You don’t have to look too hard for the reasons behind last week’s massacre.

But just days after the most humiliating defeat in Labour’s history, the Prime Minister is even more insistent, insisting he is going nowhere.

The latest ‘reset’ conversation is the subject of Fantasy Island. It’s not even close to Dead Man Walking.

“I hear you,” he says. No, he doesn’t, otherwise he would have already grabbed his jacket and crawled off to the overpriced Kentish Town slum below the railway terrace where the Kinks filmed their Dead End video.

Instead, he tells a sympathetic Sunday newspaper, he plans to stay at No 10 for the next decade, even though he knows deep down in his bones it won’t happen.

What do I keep telling you? A thorough and complete lawyer.

The only reason he’s still there by the end of the week is because the horse he allegedly followed is staying in his stable. A female MP you’ve never heard of (I lived in her constituency when it was called Hornsey and Wood Green) thought better of it when she realized that forcing an immediate leadership election might not have the outcome she wanted.

While John Major was struggling, there was talk that he was facing a sneaky horse candidate. I thought a real horse could beat him, so I invited readers of this column to call and vote for Major or Red Rum.

Needless to say, Red Rum ran home. A clothes horse could beat Starmer today, let alone a real horse.

Do all those stupid birds clapping like seals in the front row of yesterday’s press conference have any idea how ridiculous they looked?

Still the people spoke; bastards. But it was business as usual at Bubble.

Angry Ginge stood up at the postmen’s union’s annual seaside conference.

(Normally I’d discuss this with Mike, my postman of 30 years, but he’s a West Ham fan so I figured common sense was the better part etc.)

Basically, he read the statement he made over the weekend calling for a shift to the left. In fact, hilariously, he had a huge outburst during the Peter Mandelson debacle.

I say ‘in a funny way’ because, as I mentioned before, the only time I saw Ange in the flesh was when she was all over Mandelson at the next table, hanging on his every word like a lovesick schoolgirl.

However, it is clear that he has given up on his ambition to become Prime Minister and chosen ‘King of the North’ Andy Burnham. Even though almost all Labor councilors in her constituency lost their seats last week and she has now nominated her flat in Hove as her ‘main residence’ for stamp duty purposes, she clearly fancies herself the Queen of the North.

(By the way, how long would it take for HMRC to investigate his failure to pay the required amount of tax to the agency? Long enough to find him Not Guilty, I think.)

Ange’s speech to the mailmen was proof enough why she should never be allowed near the levers of power. She accused the Tories of impregnating her at 16 and hailed John Prescott as her spiritual leader. If you are reduced to holding up the Two Jags as role models, the game is truly over.

Littlejohn says Starmer is just part of a bigger problem with the political class in that he thinks Red Wall Brexiteers who voted for Reform actually want to rejoin the EU in all but name.

As for Burnham, if he were truly the King in the North, the Red Wall wouldn’t be voting for turquoise in such large numbers. They were joking about him everywhere from Sunderland to Stockport. King in the North is one of those ridiculous games that Boys In The Bubble love, like Mandelson’s ridiculous Prince of Darkness.

The truth about Burnham is that he twice failed to become Labor leader and, while he was Health Secretary, he tried to cover up the shameful deaths of almost 1,200 patients in the NHS staffing scandal.

Which brings us to Bubble’s current favorite, Wes Streeting; Wes Streeting, a ‘moderate’ friend of Mandelson’s, is known for wanting to push my Daily Mail colleague and friend Jan Moir under the train because he didn’t like something she wrote about a dead gay pop star I’d never heard of.

Beautiful people, this hashtag is a ‘be kind’ bunch. Anyway, at the time of this writing it looks like Wes has bottled it up.

Which brings us back to Surkeir. I’m afraid I missed his talk live because, like any sane person, I was listening to Ken Bruce’s Popmaster. After Nick Ferrari at LBC I moved on to Ken; He also said that the son of a Birmingham tool maker had told him that his father had told him that Starmer would be very surprised if his father had ever worked with a piece of steel.

Having covered a number of suitable tool manufacturers’ strikes during my time in Brum, I agree.

I’ve never bought into the idea that Starmer, a welfare primary school kid, is the son of a horny, working-class labourer. My information is that my father owns the company.

Regardless of his background, he has no empathy whatsoever with the people he claims to represent. How he became the Director of Public Prosecutions is a mystery to me. As I said, I wouldn’t trust it with a light transfer. Just like in the Chagos Islands, he would have to pay the buyer to take the house off his hands.

But he is only part of the larger problem with the political class. As I wrote last week, how do you conclude that the millions of Brexiteers who voted for Reform on the Red Wall actually want to rejoin the EU in all but name? Or what voters in former Tory Essex really mean: Is it the Andy Burnham we want?

If Labor is really going to parachute Burnham into Westminster so she can become Prime Minister, then – I repeat again and again – we must have a general election.

But for now we are busy with Surkeir. This got me thinking again about the Kinks video I mentioned earlier; This video featured a group dressed as undertakers carrying coffins from a railway shed in Kentish Town.

That’s where Starmer is today; He lives in Dead End.