Sophie Habboo says she feels ‘sad’ looking back at her wedding and recalls ‘spiralling’ because she didn’t think she could call it off – as she reveals the link to her ADHD diagnosis

Sophie Habboo has spoken of the “sadness” she felt when looking back at her wedding to Jamie Laing and how anxious she felt at the time.

The 31-year-old TV personality, who admitted to dreaming of an intimate beach wedding, was caught up in the event for 250 people in Sotogrande, Spain.

Sophie revealed she was overwhelmed by the big white wedding and was ‘shaken’ as she felt she couldn’t cancel the day.

To talk How to Fail by Elizabeth Day In the podcast, Sophie revealed that she felt ‘compassion’ towards the younger version of herself who was struggling at the time.

The former Made In Chelsea star said she was so affected that she started seeing a therapist, who encouraged her to get tested for ADHD after noticing the symptoms.

The test confirmed that Sophie had ADHD and helped her understand why she was struggling so much with the overwhelming nature of a big wedding.

Explaining how she discovered that she has ADHD following the overwhelming period in the lead up to her 2023 wedding, she said: I’m still getting to know myself, it’s a long old process.

The 31-year-old TV personality, who admitted to dreaming of an intimate beach wedding, was caught up in the event for 250 people in Sotogrande, Spain.

‘When we got engaged and started the wedding process, I always told Jamie this, and he’ll say this; I love my husband so much and he is amazing so I don’t want to sound like I’m knocking on him but he always wanted this big, big white wedding with lots of people and wanted to walk down the aisle in a white suit.

‘I immediately told him that I wanted to marry 20 people with my feet in the sand. I don’t like birthday parties. It’s funny because I do the podcast and I can do that when I’m in a work environment, but in my private time I’m a pretty private person and I don’t like to be the center of attention.

She continued, explaining that everyone told her this was what she should want for herself: ‘When I got married it was like this big white wedding, this is what everyone dreams of.

Not just him, everyone was saying this [Jamie]. We grew up thinking women wanted this big white wedding.

‘But I was incredibly overwhelmed, which then led to great anxiety. Then of course the podcast, we’re very lucky that it’s attracted so many people, but it’s strangely turned into a huge spectacle. ‘This gave me imposter syndrome, I was really struggling with great depression and anxiety.’

‘As I was looking around, I was thinking that everyone was so excited for me, everyone was supporting us. I’m going to have this incredible wedding that people dream of, why can’t I handle it? My anxiety got so bad I went and talked to a therapist and they told me we needed to get tested for ADHD, have you ever been tested?

‘And lo and behold, I have ADHD. I know everyone talks about ADHD and it’s a buzzword right now, but having experienced what I’ve experienced, everyone handles it differently. But now that I know I have it, it makes perfect sense. It’s difficult to manage if you’re diagnosed with this.’

Sophie, who admitted she wished she had been diagnosed sooner, said: ‘But I found the chaos here really overwhelming. This is one of my failings, because if I had been diagnosed earlier, I would have understood myself better and had more compassion for myself.

‘It’s really sad for me to look back on our wedding, it was the best day of my life in so many ways and I should have enjoyed it so much. But I was struggling really hard and I wasn’t coping as well as I could have. Because I didn’t know what was wrong with me.’

Sophie reveals she was overwhelmed by the big white wedding and ‘shaken’ as she felt she couldn’t cancel the day

Speaking on Elizabeth Day’s How To Fail podcast, Sophie revealed she felt ‘compassion’ towards the younger version of herself who was struggling at the time.

Asked if she wanted to call it all off for the sake of a smaller wedding, Sophie said: ‘Strangely enough I kept it all inside as I was so confused about how I felt as I didn’t think it was an option which was what caused the anxiety to spiral.

‘I always wanted to be involved in entertainment, so I wanted to be on stage and be an actor, so why couldn’t I handle all the attention?

‘We did a live show a month before the wedding, all that. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t manage, I thought there was something wrong with me. So I didn’t talk about it and say that I was really struggling and worried. Actually, I don’t want this huge wedding with 250 people, I want to go and get married barefoot on the beach. The fact that I didn’t say these made me even worse.

‘When I look back I feel sad, I can see that I was struggling. I was really hurt. ‘I’m compassionate but this has only happened since I was diagnosed, I unpacked and worked hard on myself after my wedding.’

Sophie said she wanted to renew her wedding vows and have the kind of ceremony she would have liked in the first place.

He said: ‘I think about this all the time. I told him that and he said, ‘Yeah, we’re going to turn this into something huge.’ And I’m like no! That’s what matters!’

Two years after their wedding, the couple welcomed their son Ziggy.

They released a Disney+ series about the arrival of their four-month-old son and their new life as a family of three.

Sophie recently opened up about the explosive arguments she had with her husband following the birth of their son, before the TV series aired.

The three-part series Raising Chelsea, which is available to stream now, follows former Made In Chelsea stars as they come to terms with the reality of becoming parents.

It follows Sophie and Jamie from early pregnancy through birth and eventually meeting their baby son.

Sophie admitted: ‘I can only say that our crew who filmed with us really filmed everything; We shot for about nine months and they were with us the entire time.

”This will definitely not be hidden. There were times when I thought, ‘This isn’t going to air’, and then I look back and go, ‘Ugh!’ I said, but that’s life.”

Sophie reflected on the pressures of juggling parenting alongside her job and renovating their home after welcoming their baby: ‘It was constant, there was a breakdown almost every day.’