Stop avoiding your bank balance and other ways to manage your money better

We’ve all looked at our bank accounts and wondered why we don’t have as much money as we thought, and suddenly the bills, shopping and socializing expenses are piling up.

For many of us, our relationship with money is strained and dealing with financial matters can leave us feeling lonely. feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

If you’re struggling to stay on top of your finances, here are four ways to help you manage your money better.

Journalist and author Anniki Sommerville says sitting down and thinking about what’s really driving you to spend money can help you stop destructive patterns.

Previously, when she worked in a high-stress corporate role, she would buy new clothes whenever she accomplished something difficult or challenging.

“I felt like I deserved to reward myself.

“I had a spending pattern of, ‘You gave a really good presentation, now you deserve to buy something for yourself.'”

Chartered accountant and author Abigail Foster says the easiest way to spot such habits is to look at your bank statements to see when you spend the most.

“Late at night? On the weekends? I have friends who have bad habits, like when they get bored on the train, they start buying things.”

Understanding these instincts allows us to take steps to prevent them.

“You might be better equipped to make an alternative decision and say, ‘You know what? Take a deep breath and not buy something.'”

Anniki says that when she was little, she was often afraid to check her bank balance and avoided dealing with money whenever possible.

Claer Barrett, consumer editor of the Financial Times, says such behavior is often linked to our education.

“How we felt about maths in school, maybe that burning sense of shame of not knowing the answer or raising your hand to answer a question and getting it wrong, can often make us feel like I can’t do math. That’s why I can’t make money.”

“We really need to push on that door and try to understand more about our finances.”

The only way to do this, Abigail says, is to force yourself to deal with the problem head-on, setting aside a certain amount of time each week to look at your bank account and all your expenses.

“At least one hour a week.

“Just review your finances and be impressed by it. It sounds great, but it can be really calming for your nervous system.”

Doing this, he says, will often uncover expenses you forget about, like a gym subscription you haven’t been to in six months or a random app you forgot you subscribed to.

Many times money-related terms can be offensive.

Don’t let words like investing scare you, says Claer, but instead take the time to learn them.

“Whether we’re talking about stocks or investing for retirement, we need to give ourselves every advantage financially,” he says.

“So being shy or embarrassed, not asking those probing questions, is the worst thing we can do.”

He recommends making a list of things you’re not sure about and working on them slowly, whether it’s pension pooling or asking for a pay increase at work.

If you’re just starting out, don’t be too hard on yourself.

“We’re all a work in progress. I have my financial to-do list in the back of my diary. There are some things that have been on for over a year.

“It’s just life, but as long as I can try something each week to make my finances a better place, it keeps moving forward.”

Many of us are too tired to keep up with the expenses of daily living to even think about saving money.

But Abigail suggests creating a “freedom fund” that would give those who can afford it options when life gets tough.

He recommends creating an easy-access account in your name alone, not a joint one, and setting aside a portion of your income each month.

Unlike an emergency fund pot for things like unexpected car and home repairs, a freedom fund is money designed to “make you happier.”

“So when a job is no longer working for you, you might think, ‘I’ve got some money, I can go look for another job.’

“Or if you want to leave a partner, this freedom fund can give you the ability to leave.”