Take That reveal how they suffered with suicidal thoughts, financial woes and vicious infighting in ‘deeply personal’ new docuseries

Take That has given fans a glimpse into the band’s struggles in a ‘deeply personal’ new documentary series.

The Netflix show Take That showed stratospheric highs turning into crippling lows as the band collapsed following Robbie Williams’ sudden departure in 1995.

Gary Barlow, Howard Donald and Mark Owen came together to narrate the series, which includes previously unseen footage of the band and archived interviews with Jason Orange and Robbie.

Although it is now well documented, Robbie was struggling with drink and drug addiction throughout his time in the band, and Gary admitted: ‘I never thought Robbie was the most insecure and emotional person in the band, and I feel quite guilty now for not realizing that.’

Mark revealed things came to a head when Robbie returned from a booze-filled jaunt to Glastonbury, explaining: ‘Rob came back absolutely drunk.

‘I think the lack of interest is obvious and I think Gaz and J are pretty annoyed about it.’

The Netflix show Take That showed stratospheric highs turning into crippling lows as the band collapsed following the sudden departure of Robbie Williams (pictured) in 1995.

He revealed that the band confronted Robbie about his behavior, which resulted in him announcing he was quitting.

Gary recalled: ‘Jason said, “If you’re going to go, then go now.” I thought he’d be back tomorrow, I’ve seen this kind of thing before.

‘We woke up the next morning and there was a report in the papers that Robbie had left the band.

‘It was a bit devastating, you ask yourself a lot of questions – what happens now?

‘I think if we all knew that moment would happen, after spending so much time together we would all wish it had been different. It was something a little unorthodox and ordinary.

‘These things never happen the way you read them; It’s trickier, more complex.’

Mark added: ‘It’s been a really weird few days, really weird.

‘And his leaving, which was one of the most important things to happen to our band, sounds pretty simple.

‘I wasn’t in a place where I could sit down with Gaz and Howard and say, ‘What are we going to do about this?’ ‘I think it was the first time anyone on a TV show asked us how we felt.’

(L-R) Robbie Williams, Jason Orange, Howard Donald, Gary Barlow and Mark Owen in 1992

While the band vowed to continue as a four-piece, Gary admitted they quickly became jealous of the freedom Robbie had as a solo act, while they were closely watched by manager Nigel Martin-Smith.

‘It was inevitable that we wanted to get out of that world,’ thought Gary, later revealing that he had talked to the band about going their separate ways.

But not everyone was happy, with Howard admitting: ‘I was holding on to this group so tightly that I felt some anger.

‘We were a four piece and still had success. One tour was sold out, we had a number one, it was like – but why?

‘That hit me the hardest because I thought, ‘So what do I do now?’ I was thinking. I was just trained to be a pop star…

‘Everyone watched what was going on and prepared themselves, whereas I was dreaming that this would continue.

‘When I was at school, I was essentially a nobody. ‘I wasn’t very smart, I didn’t go to university, I never dreamed of being successful, I didn’t think I could be anything, and on that stage I felt like a superhero.’

Explaining how his mental health deteriorated after the band broke up, he continued: ‘He almost went into a depressive state.

‘I decided to go to the Thames and in my mind at the time I was seriously considering jumping into the Thames, thinking I wanted to kill myself. But I’m too clumsy to do that.’

Howard also struggled with anxiety about his finances due to fatherhood following the birth of his daughter Grace.

‘All of a sudden I’m running low on money, I need to take care of it, I need to go to a smaller house,’ he recalled.

‘Reality kicks you in the head again. ‘This is your life, you’re not a pop star anymore.’

Gary Barlow (pictured), Howard Donald and Mark Owen team up to narrate the series, which features never-before-seen footage and archived interviews with Jason Orange and Robbie

Mark was also struggling as he left his record label after failing to find success in his solo career.

‘You start feeling very negative about yourself,’ he said.

Meanwhile, Gary suffered a blow as he tried to emulate the success he had with the band as a solo act.

Explaining his initial state, he shared: ‘I was in a huge rush of confidence, my ego was the biggest it’s ever been, you think the world owes you everything.

‘When you reach this height, you think everything you touch turns triple platinum.’

However, this was not the case and when Gary’s success was eclipsed by Robbie’s, the pair began a public slanging match.

‘Robbie was getting a bit of press. T.when the hat goes bad and there is no need for it.

‘That’s when it got really competitive. ‘We were both trying to do the same thing and only one can win.’

While the band vowed to continue as a four-piece, Gary admitted they soon became jealous of the freedom Robbie had as a solo act (Howard pictured)

Robbie’s jokes upset not only Gary but also Howard, who admitted: ‘I He didn’t like what Robbie had become.

‘It was quite hurtful because Gary was my friend and obviously I was going to defend Gary. I felt so much hatred towards Robbie.

‘Maybe jealousy of his success and the fact that he was just screwing up and getting more and more successful made it worse. ‘You want to see them fall.’

Gary became the object of widespread ridicule and ‘seen it all’, the problem worsened when Robbie publicly taunted him.

‘IT “It was so excruciating,” he admitted. ‘You just wanted to crawl into a hole.

‘There was a period when I didn’t leave the house even once for about 13 months. A.I also started gaining weight. And the more weight I gained, the fewer people would recognize me.

‘ I thought, ‘This is good, this is what I’ve been waiting for, to live a normal life.’ So I went on a mission. If food got past me, I’d eat it… and I killed the pop star.’

Gary’s weight rose to 17 stone and he developed bulimia, an eating disorder that he suffered until he sought help in 2003.

In 2005 the group reunited to film an ITV documentary but Robbie was not there and was filming his episodes remotely.

‘We all had different feelings about Rob at that point,’ Gary recalled. ‘Mark missed him, Jason missed him, I hated him.’

Following Jason’s departure from the band and Robbie returning to his solo career, only Mark, Gary and Howard have now left the band (Photo taken in September)

But when reports began to emerge about Robbie’s struggles with drink and drugs, they realized it was time to put the past behind them.

Afraid their old friend would go astray, they flew to Los Angeles to be by his side, and Gary pulled him aside for a private chat.

‘There were a lot of things I wanted to say to Rob,’ Gary recalled. ‘He had a lot of things he wanted to tell me. “We have never done this.”

Howard added: ‘We went to his house and Robbie had an intense conversation with Gary. ‘How he felt about Gary in the nineties and how it hurt him and blah, blah, blah.’

Gary recalled: ‘Things around me were not supportive of her songwriting and interestingly her weight.

‘One day I called him Blobby instead of Robbie; I threw my hands up in the air, I shouldn’t have done it.

‘In about 20/25 minutes we cleared away things that had been haunting us for years and we felt like we could move forward from there.’

The band reunited with Robbie for the 2006 tour, with Gary saying: ‘I was in such a bad place I needed everyone.

‘I truly felt like I was in Take That for the first time. That’s when the band started for me.’

Take That will be released on Netflix on Tuesday, January 27.

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