Tim Cook is ‘exceptional’ at this leadership skill—I saw it when I interviewed at Apple
Tim Cook will resign as Apple’s CEO on September 1 Leading one of the most valuable companies in the world after 15 years. There will be no shortage of retrospectives on his operational genius, supply chain mastery, and steady management in the post-Jobs era.
But one thing keeps coming back to me: Cook is one of the best listeners I’ve ever encountered.
As a CEO coach and author “Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity“In a world where leaders are increasingly rewarded for being loud, confident and fast, I know his approach is worth examining.
Jony Ive, Apple’s former chief design officer, said in a lecture at Apple University, where I teach, that the most important role of a manager is to “give a voice to the voiceless.” I love this. Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt took the opposite approach, urging people to “Be loud!” I love this too. The two leaders took different approaches to listening and ensuring everyone was heard.
Great leaders find a way of listening that suits their personal style and then create a culture where everyone listens to each other. Here’s how Cook did it.
Meeting the lord of silence
Before I interviewed at Apple, a friend warned me that Cook allowed long silences, and that I shouldn’t get on my nerves or feel the need to fill them. Despite this warning, during our first meeting I reacted to the silence by talking anxiously nonstop, unintentionally telling her more than I had planned about a mistake I had made.
The room began to shake just as I realized in a panic that I was about to reveal something that could cost me my job. I’m relieved to be saved by a real earthquake.
Following in Cook’s footsteps, one of my students in the “Management at Apple” class said that in each one-on-one meeting, he tries to spend at least 10 minutes listening quietly and keeping facial expressions and body language neutral.
“If I reacted at all, people would often tell me things they thought I wanted to hear,” he said. “I’ve found that when I’m careful not to show what I’m thinking, they’re much more likely to say what they’re really thinking—even if it’s not what I expected to hear.”
But listening quietly can have a downside: When you’re the boss and people don’t know what you’re thinking, they spend a lot of time trying to guess. And many people are very uncomfortable with silence. Some even think that a quiet listener is setting a trap: They may pounce on others, waiting for them to say the wrong thing.
If you are a silent listener, you need to take steps to reassure people. Don’t be meaninglessly incomprehensible. To get others to say what they think, sometimes say what you think too. The administrator in my class was expressionless for only 10 minutes of their 1:1 conversation, not the entire hour. Otherwise it would be difficult for people to trust or relate to him.
Of course, Cook wasn’t always quiet either. But because he was generally very quiet, people leaned forward to listen to what he had to say. And when he spoke, even if very quietly, his thoughts were always very clear.
Find another way, listen
Silent listening helps many managers, but I cannot achieve this. Fortunately, there is another model.
If quiet listening involves remaining silent to give people a chance to speak, loud listening involves saying things intended to get their reaction. Steve Jobs, for example, would bring a strong point of view to the table and insist on a response.
Frankly, this approach only works when people are confident enough to take on the challenge. Even if the broader culture welcomes this behavior, how do you deal with people who can’t stand up to an aggressive boss or whose position doesn’t allow them to feel safe? What about someone new to the company? They may know a good reason why you’re wrong, but they don’t speak up.
If you have a loud listening style, you need to put in some effort to build people’s trust and let them know it’s safe to challenge the boss. I said Jobs would often come to him and say, “Jony, that’s a stupid idea.” He was inviting Ive to challenge his idea by calling it stupid.
Paul Saffo, an engineering professor at Stanford University, describes a technique he calls “strong views, weak adoption.” Expressing strong, some might say outrageous, positions with others is a good way to arrive at a better answer or at least have a more interesting conversation, he said.
I love this approach. I tend to state my positions strongly, so I’ve had to learn to follow up with: “Please poke holes in this idea; I know it could suck. So tell me all the reasons why we shouldn’t do this.” I even put a “You were right, I was wrong” award on someone’s desk once.
Perhaps the most important thing is to stick to the style that feels most natural to you. Trying to behave in highly unnatural ways can make your team feel less comfortable with you. Instead, try to strengthen your awareness of how your style makes your colleagues feel and work to improve that dynamic.
Learn how to listen to give voice to the quiet ones without surprising their loud colleagues. No matter what, the goal is to reach the best answer together.
Kim Scott He is the author of the books “Radical Respect” and “”Radical Sincerity.” Kim has served as a CEO coach at Dropbox, Qualtrics, Twitter, and other technology companies. He was a faculty member at Apple University, and before that he led the AdSense, YouTube, and DoubleClick teams at Google.
Looking to get ahead at work? Then you need to learn how to make effective small talk. In CNBC’s new online course, How to Talk to People at Workexpert trainers share practical strategies to help you use everyday conversations to gain visibility, build meaningful relationships, and accelerate your career growth. Sign up today! Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 20% off. Offer valid from April 20, 2026 to May 4, 2026. Terms apply.
