I’ve treated countless midlife women who resent their oblivious husbands. This is the one definitive sign that means your marriage is on the brink… and the action plan I give my female patients to save their relationship: DR MAX PEMBERTON

He sat in my clinic with a tissue in his hand and said something I’d heard over and over again: ‘He has no idea how unhappy I am.’ She explained that her husband thought everything was fine. Ultimately, the discussions stopped.

What he didn’t realize was that silence wasn’t peace, it was surrender. He had given up trying to make her understand.

This woman wanted adventure and connection. In the next chapter of her life, she dreamed of traveling, dinner parties with friends, and feeling truly alive. Her husband wanted to stay at home, watch TV and keep everything as it was. The gap between them had grown so large that he could not see a way to cross.

His story is far from unusual. A recent survey by law firm Mishcon de Reya found that a third of women who divorced in midlife reported feeling happier than ever after the separation.

And there are more of them than ever before. According to data from the Office for National Statistics, the number of divorced women aged 65 and over increased by 38 percent between 2005 and 2015. These ‘grey divorces’ are largely women-led: almost two-thirds of all marital separations are now initiated by women.

But here’s what bothers me. Many of these marriages could have been saved. The woman in my clinic had spent years giving clues, hoping that her husband would somehow understand what she needed. When he failed to do so, he stopped trying altogether. He thought everything was fine because she stopped telling him it wasn’t. They were both stuck in a pattern that was destroying their marriage, and neither could see it.

What’s going wrong? The heart of the problem often lies in the differing needs of middle age. Women in their 50s often experience a surge of energy and ambition. Kids grow up, their careers are made or ended, and suddenly there’s room to ask: What do I want from the next chapter?

At this point, they are likely experiencing the worst symptoms of perimenopause and menopause or managing them with medication. The people-pleasing effects of estrogen will long be gone. Many women want adventure, connection and new experiences.

But men often become more introverted as they get older. Exhausted by decades of work pressure, they are happy with the routine and genuinely baffled by their partner’s restlessness. They’re not deliberately causing difficulties, they just don’t feel the same urgent need for innovation and stimulation.

This dissonance breeds a certain kind of resentment. The woman feels left behind, and her husband is now a dead weight anchoring her to the life she has grown into. Her husband, on the other hand, feels nagged and unappreciated. Neither of them are completely wrong, but neither of them are really listening.

The good news is that marriages can recover from this and even grow beyond it. But as a man, let me tell you clearly, if women truly want the relationship to change, they need to take a different approach; even if it seems like the kind of emotional labor they’ve been doing their whole lives and they’re very willing to give up. Here are five ways to start the conversation and stop the resentment:

1. Say what you need without criticism

Many women express their unhappiness through complaints about certain behaviors when, in fact, the needs they are talking about are not being met.

‘You never want to go anywhere’ comes off very differently than ‘I feel trapped and need more adventure in my life.’ ‘Can we talk about how this will happen?’ The first invites defense, the second calls for cooperation.

2. Introversion not indifference

Your husband’s reluctance to socialize or try new things may not mean he doesn’t care about your happiness. It may just be wired differently.

Try to understand what drains it and what recharges it. Finding activities you can enjoy together, rather than activities he can tolerate, will serve you both better in the long run.

3. Stop expecting him to read your mind

Years of hoping that he would notice your unhappiness and change on his own have probably left you exhausted and resentful.

However, many men cannot perceive indirect signals. Be clear about what you need and specific about what will help. Give him a fair chance to respond to a clear request.

4. Have a fulfilling life with or without him

You don’t need his permission to see your friends, take up new hobbies, or book that trip.

A marriage in which both partners have rich, independent lives is often stronger than a marriage in which everything must be done together. If he says he won’t join you anyway, stop being upset and leave.

5. Offer therapy before giving up

Couples therapy works best when both partners still want to make things work. If you wait until you’re emotionally in control of the situation, it’s often too late.

Frame this not as an admission of failure, but as an investment in your future together. If he refuses, consider going it alone to clarify what you want.

Middle age can be not just the end for marriages, but a second chance. But getting that chance requires honest communication and a willingness to see your partner’s point of view, even if you’re hurt. Don’t let silence be your only language.

Now is the time to talk. You deserve to be happy.

Chris’ healing journey with my father

Chris Hemsworth’s father has Alzheimer’s

There’s a moment in Chris Hemsworth’s new documentary that stopped me in my tracks. The Australian actor is sitting in the Outback with his father Craig, who has early stage Alzheimer’s disease. As Craig recounts his wild days wrangling buffalo, something remarkable happens. The fog is lifting. He becomes himself again.

Reminiscence therapy, as it is formally known, involves using photographs, music, old haunts, and conversations about the past to stimulate the brain.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Suraj Samtani explains that recalling memories activates the hippocampus, the part of the brain that Alzheimer’s attacks.

Many families facing dementia feel helpless. But reminiscence therapy reminds us that we all carry something therapeutic within us: our shared history. All you need is old photo albums, familiar songs, the ability to ask questions and listen.

Type 2 diabetes can often be reversed with lifestyle changes. This is where continuous glucose meters (CGM) come into play. These small sensors worn on the arm measure blood sugar levels in real time and send the data to your phone.

Recent research shows that adults with Type 2 diabetes who wear their sensor more than 270 days a year see significantly greater improvements in blood sugar control than those who use it occasionally. It’s a great tool that we need to use much more.

Studies show that singers who achieve celebrity status die an average of four years earlier than less well-known singers. Fame, it turns out, carries about the same risk as the occasional cigarette.

Pay attention to what You wish.

Dr Max… suggests eating with others

Flinders University in Australia found that older adults who regularly eat alone face poorer nutrition, weight loss and earlier frailty than those who share meals with others. Food is more than fuel. This is a link. If you live alone, invite a friend for dinner. Join a lunch club. It’s not important what you eat, it’s important who you eat it with.