When Suzuki met Suzuki: why a Tokyo dating agency is matching couples with the same name | Japan
At least three men and three women calming their nerves at a Tokyo venue on a Friday evening know they have something in common.
These people, who will be distributed at intervals between the stands, will soon be placed in pairs and will be given 15 minutes to get to know each other.
“Let’s start with a nice ‘hello’ and a big smile,” the host says.
When they meet, they will only have to use their first names because they all share the same last name.
Novelty value aside, the event is the first in a series aimed at getting around Japan’s controversial ban on married couples having separate surnames by bringing together people with the same surname.
Once participants verify their identity on an app, the conversation begins and the beer starts flowing. In the first round, the men are asked to move to the next table. Laughter can be heard from one of the tables; Definitely a good sign. In another, the couple stands up and buys cakes and biscuits provided by sponsoring companies of their shared surname, Suzuki.
Similar events were planned for others with the same surnames: Ito, Tanaka and Sato, Japan’s most popular family name.
“Honestly, I’m not too worried about hiding my maiden name, but I thought it would be fun to meet another Suzuki,” says 34-year-old nurse Hana Suzuki.
What’s in a name?
Japan’s civil code states that husband and wife must have the same surname. Couples are free to choose which surname they take when they marry, but in less than 95 percent of cases it is the woman who has to adapt; critics say it is a reflection of Japan’s male-dominated society.
In practice, many women continue to use their birth name at work and their legal, married surname on official documents. Although the government allows birth names to appear next to married names on passports, driver’s licenses and other documents, Japan remains the only country in the world that requires spouses to use the same name.
The UN committee on the elimination of discrimination against women also called on Japan’s government to review laws and introduce a selective dual surname system.
The business community is among those calling for change, saying the rule would pose an obstacle to Japanese companies doing business abroad if female employees use a work ID that does not match their surname.
Powerful business lobby Keidanren collected testimonies from women who said the rule had negatively affected their careers, including academics who had difficulty getting recognition for work written under their birth names and executive-level women who were denied a “business name” when signing contracts.
According to Keidanren’s internal survey, 82% of female executives said they support allowing married couples to use separate surnames.
“We started the project to draw attention to a growing problem in Japan; many people are hesitant to get married due to having to change their surname,” said Yuka Maruyama, a creative planner and project initiator at Asuniwa.
“To make this topic more visible and understandable, we wanted to present a simple and somewhat humorous idea, such as matching people who share the same surname,” he said.
Successive Liberal Democrat governments have refused to consider changing the law. Conservative members led the resistance, arguing that changes to the civil code adopted in the late 1800s would “weaken” the traditional family unit and cause confusion among children.
‘A safe option’
“Using my maiden name isn’t a deal breaker, but I can understand why taking my husband’s name might be inconvenient, for example, at work,” says Hana, one of the participants in the matchmaking event. “I don’t mind the idea of separate surnames, but I think it can be problematic when you have children…what name would they get?”
A recent survey of 2,500 people in their 20s and 30s who use dating app Pairs found that 36.6% of women and 46.6% of men felt reluctant to change their surname, with a smaller proportion of both genders worried about their partner changing their name. Just over 7% of respondents said they would separate if neither spouse wanted to change their last name.
Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi has shown little interest in changing the law. Instead, he supports a bill that would expand legal recognition of birth names on official documents; Critics of the compromise say it will do little to end confusion for women who are forced to use one of two names depending on the circumstances.
Takaichi took her husband’s surname, Yamamoto, during their first marriage, which ended in 2017. When they remarried in 2021, he officially took the name Takaichi.
The Conservative leader told MPs this month that he opposed the introduction of selective separate surnames and preferred to use birth names in certain cases, as he had previously done. He said it is important that “spouses and children have the same surname in the family registry.”
Organizers of the matchmaking party do not keep track of the couples for privacy reasons, but some of tonight’s attendees appear to have little regret.
“I’ve been to matchmaking parties before, but I thought this would be more interesting,” says 33-year-old company employee *Taisho Suzuki. “I didn’t give much thought to the idea of marrying another Suzuki, but now I can see why it’s a safe option. I don’t want to give up my surname when I get married, and I know many women feel the same way about their names.”
He and his female colleague used their shared family name as an icebreaker, laughing as they described how their names were called in government offices and waiting rooms before numbered tickets became the norm – encouraging responses from more than one person.
“Now that I’m in my 30s, my priorities have changed and I want to get married and have children,” she says. “If I met a woman with an unusual last name, I’d understand why she wanted to keep it. I think we’d have to sit down and do something.”
* Names changed at the request of interviewees
