‘Truly close’ couples use 8 phrases when talking about each other
Building a healthy romantic relationship takes time and intention. Over time, meaningful experiences, personal revelations, and authentic conversations emerge. closeness and intimacy.
To truly know someone, you need to understand what’s important to them (their likes and dislikes, their passions, their boundaries) and respect those traits, even if they’re different from yours.
In fact, many strong couples begin to appreciate differences, recognizing that a person’s background, quirks, and tendencies are what make them unique. Here are eight phrases that really close couples use when talking about each other, and they should be relationship goals for all of us.
1. ‘They are who they are.’
You can’t own your partner’s mistakes, and you can’t own their successes either. They are not an extension of you, but their own individual living with you.
Similar expressions:
- “He’s always been like that.”
- “I know this is one of his favorite things to do.”
2. ‘I’m not surprised at all!’
When you truly understand your partner, you won’t be surprised by what they say or do. If your friends are shocked by a comment or action they made, you can smile and shrug.
Similar expressions:
- “Oh yeah, that’s my buddy okay!”
- “This is totally his style.”
3. ‘Such weirdos.’
Everyone has their own quirks, odd habits or routine preferences, from how they drink coffee to how they fold their towels. These are little things that probably no one else knows about them. But if you really know your partner, you notice these details and often find love in them.
Similar expressions:
- “They sneeze like a train!”
- “His sobs are so cute.”
4. ‘I trust them to be themselves.’
Deep knowledge creates trust. When you know your partner, you trust them to act authentically and responsibly, whether we are together or apart.
Similar expressions:
- “He may be a little nervous, but I trust him to make good choices.”
- “I know they will be respectful.”
5. ‘This is a core value.’
Intimacy means understanding your partner’s core ideas, beliefs, and principles. Even if you disagree, you can acknowledge what is truly important to them without belittling or belittling it.
Similar expressions:
- “I know this is really important to them.”
- “He is very passionate about politics.”
6. ‘They’re struggling with it.’
Knowing someone deeply means understanding their fears, vulnerabilities, and emotional triggers. When these struggles surface, you respond with empathy rather than judgment or defense.
Similar expressions:
- “I know this is painful for them.”
- “I see his struggle and I want to support him in this.”
7. ‘I can’t change them.’
Getting to know your partner means accepting that even if there’s something you really don’t like about them, you can’t and shouldn’t try to change who they are. Real growth will only happen if they choose to do so.
Similar expressions:
- “They only change if they want to.”
- “Even though I don’t like it, I accept that we look at this differently.”
8. ‘I didn’t know that about them!’
Even in long-term relationships, there is always more to learn. When couples truly know each other, discovering something new feels like an opportunity for growth, not a threat.
Similar expressions:
- “I never realized they felt that way.”
- “Even though we’ve been married for years, I’m still learning new things about him.”
Would you like to know your partner better?
Here are a few ways to get started:
- Ask open-ended questions with genuine curiosity.
- Try to see situations from their perspective.
- Speak respectfully during difficult conversations.
- Use physical touch like hugging or holding hands to connect.
- Make your presence known by putting your phone away, making eye contact, and prioritizing spending time together.
The answer to true intimacy is simple: You must understand and choose each other every day.
Dr. Cortney S. WarrenPhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of the new book “Giving up on your ex.” She specializes in romantic relationships, addictive behavior, and honesty. After receiving his doctorate in clinical psychology from Texas A&M University, he received his clinical training at Harvard Medical School. Follow him on Instagram @DrCortneyWarren or Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.
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