I brought up four children but this was too much for even me | UK | News

Jan Leeming recently landed herself in hot water (actually, a warm plate) when she dared to complain about noisy children at a fancy restaurant. At that time, I admired his courage to speak openly. Maybe, as a former anchor, he’s used to bringing up difficult things.

But for all the social changes currently sweeping the country, complaining is still seen – in public at least – as un-British behaviour, right? Even when we feel compelled to speak out, we often start with an apology. “I’m so sorry but…”

This week, while sipping my Pina Colada by the pool of a hotel in Florida, I found myself thinking about Leeming’s elegies. For the first hour all was peace and tranquility. Just the rustling of the palm trees above our heads. Then… SHRIEEEEEK!!! SCREEEEEAAAAA!!! YOWWWLL!!!

Four kids, ages seven to nine, had jumped into the shallow end and were emitting more decibels per soundbox than I believed humanly possible. They weren’t screaming, laughing, or even squealing a little as they splashed water on each other. It was a continuous, high-pitched howl. Wordless wail. Don’t get me wrong. I raised four children, three boys. I know how they got into the pool at that age.

But this… I’ve never heard of anything like this. Off the scale. Tape this and play it to an experienced terrorist in their cell, and five minutes later they’ll be singing like canaries. Whatever happens, stop it.

So did I or Richard complain? Of course not. We are British. We only exchanged brief, angry glances. Even this makes the situation a bit difficult for a British person abroad. Americans are different. Soon, a seventy-year-old sunbather rose from his sun lounger, threw back his distinguished leonine head, and approached his parents.

Politely but relentlessly, he told them directly: “Your kids are making SO much noise. Quiet them a bit. I’m a father of four and I have six grandchildren and I have a pool in Los Angeles, so I get along with pools and kids. But THIS (he pointed to the screams), THIS is totally out of line. Are you following?”

Well they followed. Words were spoken by the pool. The children calmed down. They were still jumping around with joy, but their eardrum-piercing performance was over.

Our senior savior appeared to be single. So is Jan Leeming. They are the same age and clearly kindred spirits. I am curious; Should I contact them?