The Chicago Bears are getting a Hallmark movie, and here’s a very good idea for the plot

After the Kansas City Chiefs and Buffalo Bills took their turns in the Hallmark movie, the Chicago Bears will be on the big screen.

Or whatever size television you have in your home, because it will have cable.

The name of the movie is “Holiday Goal: A Bear’s Love Story,” and production is scheduled to begin this summer.

Now, whenever I hear this, I always wonder, “What could the plot be about?”

Luckily, I studied screenwriting in college, so I put together a review of what I thought would be a really great Bears Hallmark movie.

Sorry, I mean “kicking”… Hallmark Channel.

…

The opening titles are shown over drone footage of Chicago, with Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4” playing over it, for obvious reasons. If that’s too expensive, let’s record it ourselves, sharpen one of the notes a bit, and call it a day.

Chandra Ditka (no relation) is a powerful advertising executive living in Chicago. He finds football barbaric and has no time for football because he is so focused on his work. His father, Richard “Dick” Ditka, always asks him to go to Bears games, but he’s so busy producing ad campaigns that he always turns him down.

One day, shortly before Christmas, while waiting in line for an Italian beef sandwich – which she does every day – she meets a very handsome man named Brad Bearman.

The two hit it off because they realized they liked Italian meats just as well (dry, sweet with a side of sauce). And hot pepper) and agreed to go out sometime.

Two people who meet and fall in love while waiting to order Italian steak are very Chicago-ish and unbearably Hallmark-esque. (Neil John Burger/Unknown)

On their first date, they stare at that stupid bean statue for a few hours until Brad says, “That sucks, we have to go to the Bears game tomorrow. They’re playing the Packers.”

Chandra likes Brad and doesn’t want to hurt him by telling him she’s not interested in football, so she reluctantly agrees.

The next day, before the game, she meets her interesting friend Janice. They head to the stores on Michigan Avenue, and we see a shopping montage in which Janice tries on a number of jersey and hat combinations, shaking her head “no” each time.

That night, Brad picks her up for the game, and Chandra leaves his house wearing the DJ Moore jersey he said he bought for the occasion. She realizes this means he bought it at a discount because it was traded in and begins to suspect that she is a fraud.

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They take an Uber to the game, and the whole way, Chandra is answering emails about her new ad campaign for a new kind of DUDE wipes called DUDE Wipes For Her (people love product placement, and DUDE Wipe folks will be ready for it), while Brad is talking about how much he hates the Packers.

That’s because they’re division rivals, but also because their parents were killed by a mugger in a Packers hat as they were leaving the opera when they were kids (yes, like Batman; a fun little easter egg).

They arrive at Soldier Field and take their seats when Chandra notices that she is sitting in the same row as her father, who is sitting there alone.

He doesn’t want his dad to see that he finally decided to go to a game, but that didn’t happen with him, so he has to wear weird disguises every time he gets up to pee (which is a lot; he should probably go get that checked). On one occasion, he takes the mustache of a man wearing Bill Swerski’s mustache of “Bill Swerski’s Superfans” fame and puts it on.

The Chicago Bears have become the latest NFL team to get their own Hallmark movie. (Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

Despite the situation with her father, Chandra and Brad have a good time at the game and they have a really good time, though at one point she gets yelling and screaming at a cheese-headed guy and Chandra has to calm down so security doesn’t get called and Brad has to put his shirt back on.

They agree to see each other again as the Bears kick a field goal with less than a minute to play. Brad starts yelling at the cheese head guy again.

After missing the field goal because she peed, her father returns to his seat and asks Brad and Chandra what happened and realizes it’s his daughter.

He apologizes profusely for not going to the game with her and going with a date instead.

Her father is happy with this and tells her that she is in her early forties and “time is not slowing down” so it makes more sense for her to go with a man instead. He also said he likes going alone because the extra seat means he can lie down and not have someone whining in his ear all the time.

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Chandra says maybe the next home game he can skip work and go to the game with his dad, but “Did you hear what I just said? I like watching by myself.”

She agrees that’s fair and orders him some Bears junk from Amazon for Christmas.

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He and Brad decide to go to games together (until the Bears move to Indiana; they don’t want to go that far), and their relationship begins to blossom as they leave the stadium for a late-night pizza (even though Brad is a tavern kind of guy; there has to be a give and take in that relationship).

The End (or you could say “The End?” so everyone watching would be like, “Wow, maybe there’s a sequel?!)