Should Erling Haaland get honorary US citizenship for crushing tee shots off a boat and blasting Ella Langley?
Bill Maher: World Cup fans remind us America is great
During his ‘Real Time’ monologue, Bill Maher humorously observes how World Cup fans touring the United States are unknowingly boosting American morale. It showcases viral videos of football tourists expressing their enjoyment of everyday American experiences like Costco and air-conditioned stadiums. Maher suggests that these international visitors remind Americans of their country’s often underappreciated strengths.
During the FIFA World Cup, we saw thousands of fans embrace American culture and the American lifestyle, but few players were as enthusiastic as Norwegian forward Erling Haaland.
It seems like some of that fine fashionable American spirit rubbed off on him during his stay.
The Manchester City star, who returned home with a booze-bottle-wielding stuffed raccoon flying off the shelves, shared a video of himself hitting golf balls (which are biodegradable) on a boat, hitting booze off the boat like a Nordic Cosmo Kramer, while blasting the music of country singer Ella Langley.
BILL MAHER PRAISED FOREIGN VISITORS AT THE WORLD CUP: ‘THEY REMIND AMERICANS HOW AMAZING THIS PLACE IS’
This was a quintessentially American situation, if you ignore the fact that he stated the fjords and temperature in Celsius rather than the far superior Fahrenheit we use here in the US.
Making freezing 0 degrees and boiling 100 degrees is such a predictable thing. I am a 32 and 212 year old man. It always will be.
Of course, golf is not an inherently American game, but I feel like we are the kings of puttingts above all else.
Cliffs, beaches, the hood of his friend’s father’s car, the Moon.
Norway’s Erling Haaland was one of the players who most embraced everything America had to offer. (Photo: Hannah Peters – FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)
And throwing Ms. Langley’s tunes behind it sealed it in a beautiful red, white and blue package. This gave me a sudden craving for apple pie and lit up the M80 with the tip of a cigarette.
It may be time to discuss granting Erling Haaland honorary US citizenship. It’s kind of the way universities go, “Hey, thank you to these college graduates for spouting the same platitudes that people use in commencement speeches; here’s an honorary doctorate for you, uh… well, whatever makes you happy, I guess.”
REPUBLICAN LEADERS EMBRACE VIRAL WORLD CUP FANS WHO SAY THEY HAVE DISCOVERED THE ‘REAL AMERICA’
I think we should offer this to those who demonstrate an affinity for all things American, whether it’s throwing golf balls into the drink while listening to country music. host a pastrami sandwichor appreciating stuffed raccoons.
Norway’s Erling Haaland walks the Oslo runway with his now-famous stuffed raccoon. (Photo: Jan Langhaug / NTB / AFP) / Norway RELEASED)
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They can take a cue from us born-and-raised Americans about how much we respect their take on America.
Maybe honorary citizens can’t vote in elections or hold office, but they can wear Old Navy Fourth of July shirts without looking like a fraud.
