Accused rapist has found God. If only he knew how to find Bible verses on live TV
Idea
For someone who prides himself on being an eccentric original, Russell Brand’s attempt to reinvent himself as a born-again Christian is dazzlingly predictable.
There are three options for social redemption among shamed and publicly ostracized celebrities: escape to a rehab facility, sit down with an A-list interviewer to think it all over, or find God.
Brand, who said he has been sober since 2003 and that no one in the mainstream media has ever asked for a rod from him, said he had no choice but to use God’s light to try to redefine his past behaviors as sins rather than potential crimes.
in one view The Megyn Kelly Show Brand said last week: “I recognize that my sexual behavior in the past has been selfish and I haven’t given enough consideration to how that sex has affected other people, I think it really has. What fame gave me, and what my addiction fueled, was the opportunity for endless consent, which led me to be a hedonist and a fool and an abuser of women, and that’s wrong. And that’s something that needs to be remedied and addressed and made up for.”
Brand is expected to stand trial in England in October, where he will face seven charges against six women, including three of rape, three of sexual assault and one of indecent assault. He has pleaded not guilty to all charges and has vehemently denied all allegations of criminal conduct.
By a seeming coincidence, his final spiritual awakening coincided around the same time that police began investigating the allegations in 2023. It is remarkable that God comes not only at a powerful person’s darkest hour, but also at a time when he may need to absolve himself of responsibility for his actions.
His transformation was so profound that Brand wrote a book about it titled: How to Become a Christian in Seven Days?. In another incredible coincidence, the publication of his book on the Bible – already a fairly well-known and well-read book – allowed him to enter the PR circuit to gain prominence before going to trial.
Through his book and the gaudy wooden cross he has taken to wearing during his right-wing media appearances, Brand appears to be attempting to recontextualize his past and self-diagnose his actions as crimes against God, not legal matters.
Take this precious moment when he reframes a months-long sexual relationship he had with a 16-year-old school girl when he was 30 years old.
“The truth is that in Europe and the UK, where I come from, the age of consent is 16. And when I was 30, I slept with a 16-year-old girl. But when I was 30, I was a very different person. I was much younger and an immature 30-year-old.”
It’s nice to know you’re the man who brought us My Booky Wook, Bookstore Wook 2 And Booky Wook Collection is now a biblical authority on when adult responsibility begins. Again, it would be appropriate for him not to step in until after he had ended a relationship in which he allegedly instructed a teenager to register his phone number under a girl’s name to avoid detection by her parents, called her “kid” and became aroused when he discovered she was still a virgin.
The whole reinvention of Brand is pathetic. It’s a preemptive redemption tour for the comedian, who once tried to sell out arenas and cling to what little traction he still has.
But it’s no surprise that the brand is pandering to this new audience. This far-right space is where conspiracy theories, Christianity, and capitalism come together perfectly. Here, canceled or deplatformed celebrities like Brand are welcomed as modern martyrs and allowed safely into a gilded echo chamber that must seem like some kind of heaven on earth.
But it’s doubtful that much about Brand’s final life is true. The Christian right, especially in Trump’s America, is the last outpost for those who have burned all their bridges but still need an audience to keep their pockets full.
This was something even British commentator Piers Morgan, perhaps one of the UK’s biggest scam platformers, could spot from a mile away.
During an interview last week, Morgan asked Brand if the Bible he had with him was the same Bible he had taken with him to a previous court hearing.
When Brand admitted that he was, Morgan said: “You were seen looking at some passages. [in court]. What were the relevant passages for you?”
Considering Brand is so devoted to God’s word that he wrote a book on the subject, you’d expect him to be pretty familiar with the Bible. But what emerged was one of the most painful and instantly memorable moments in modern television history.
For one minute and 34 seconds, Brand flipped through the pages, occasionally muttering to himself as he tried in vain to conceal the fact that he was unfamiliar with the Scriptures.
Finally, after Morgan broke the fourth wall with a look at the camera and an expression of surprise, Brand agreed, saying, “I can’t actually find the verse I was listening to that day, but it’s good enough,” and began reciting a verse from Isaiah 12.
Like the miracle of the loaves and fishes, this brief exchange almost immediately ballooned, spreading across the internet and feeding millions.
Unfortunately for Brand, God cannot be called as a character witness in court. And in trying to lay the groundwork to claim that he would be the victim of a conspiracy if convicted, he inadvertently made himself the butt of his own joke.
Katy Hall is a regular columnist and senior editor.
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Katy Hall is deputy state subject editor. He was previously deputy opinion editor of The Age.
