AMANDA PLATELL: ‘I’m still a royal’ Harry has found a new way to torment his father. He isn’t just deluded and dim-witted, he’s dangerous…

On which planet is Prince Harry being deceived, lecturing Putin and Trump on the eve of King Charles’ historic trip to America?

When I saw him speaking at the Kiev Security Forum during a secret visit to that country, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry as he said with all seriousness: ‘I’m not here as a politician.’

‘I am here as a soldier who understands service, as a humanitarian who has seen the human cost of conflict.’ He then addressed President Putin and Trump, the two most powerful leaders in the world.

The fact that this retarded, deaf, lost kid believes he has the right to lecture world leaders or that everything he says now should be taken seriously is beyond parody.

Not that I have time for Trump or Putin, they’re both beasts.

But Harry’s absurd interference in world affairs isn’t just the idiocy of a foolish prince who decided to jot down some of his thoughts while idling away for hours at his sun-kissed multimillion-dollar Montecito mansion.

His sarcastic timing strikes me as naked opportunism.

He appears to have timed it to coincide with – and overshadow – the historic visit of his father, King Charles, and Queen Camilla to America next week.

Even as the King tries to mend the fragile Special Relationship between Britain and the US by meeting Trump in Washington, his idiot son takes shots at the President.

Prince Harry visited Halo Trust members in Ukraine during his secret visit. The timing reeks of naked opportunism

By doing so, it may be undermining perhaps the monarchy’s most important role: the exercise of soft power and diplomacy in the absence of politics.

But Harry, whose main occupation is surfing or feeding his organic babies, is too stupid to understand this.

Again, his belief that he is a voice worth listening to on complex world issues is a laugh-out-loud moment.

Yes, he was a soldier who achieved the extraordinary rank of Captain and served ten years in the British Army. Yes, he completed two tours of duty in Afghanistan and flew an Apache helicopter. Yes, he does ‘care’ about the world, and he tells us so ad nauseam as if the rest of us don’t care.

He also insists he will always be a member of the Royal Family, denying that he is no longer a royal employee and that he was ‘born to do activism work’.

It is quite a departure from the late Queen’s statement in 2020: ‘The Sussexes will not use their HRH titles as they are no longer working members of the Royal Family.’

And how brave of him to address Russia’s leader directly! ‘President Putin, no nation benefits from the continued loss of life we ​​are witnessing,’ he thundered. And I’m sure Putin’s feet are shaking.

Harry grossly misjudged the situation. Delaying the US President on the eve of his father’s historic visit? Is there a single brain cell still working?

Oh, and he also has harsh criticism of the US leadership.

‘The United States has a special role in this story. “Not just because of its power,” he said, adding: “It is a moment for American leadership to show that it can fulfill its international treaty obligations – not for the sake of charity, but because of its enduring role in global security and strategic stability.”

It’s so pathetic. Worse, it appears to be a desperate attempt to grab headlines ahead of his father’s visit to America and play the statesman he believes he is entitled to due to his gilded and privileged presence.

And with relations between the US and Keir Starmer at rock bottom over the Iran war, the timing couldn’t be worse.

If Harry thought his intervention would garner support he has grossly misjudged the situation. Delaying the US President on the eve of his father’s historic visit? Is there a single brain cell still working?

But this mellow kid, who got a B in art and a D in geography at A-Levels, probably couldn’t spell the Strait of Hormuz without Googling it, let alone locate it on a map.

President Trump responded to Harry’s speech with his usual candor and offbeat sense of humour, saying what we Brits thought of his intervention: ‘Prince Harry does not speak for the United Kingdom’ and added: ‘I think I speak for the United Kingdom more than Prince Harry.’

The tragedy is that if Harry had taken on the role of a working royal and worked hard at it, he, like other members of the family, could have been taken seriously.

However, he chose to put this difficult task aside and set out towards the sun with Little Miss Montecito to make the family’s name known. No wonder he was met with open ridicule and disdain when he thought he might fly from California to lecture world leaders.

Demon of a dilemma

Actress Anne Hathaway at the premiere of The Devil Wears Prada 2

The perceived wisdom in Tinseltown is that the more turkey they fear a movie will be, the more its stars will have to kowtow in glamorous photo shoots promoting it.

This is worrying because I bought two tickets in the theater to see The Devil Wears Prada 2, starring 43-year-old Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt, as well as 76-year-old Meryl Streep and 65-year-old Stanley Tucci, and this movie has not been left out of news around the world.

Please let Meryl and Stanley’s necks be the only turkeys in the movie.

The beautiful video of Kate and William playing cricket to celebrate Prince Louis’ eighth birthday makes you wonder why we haven’t seen the Sussex boys’ faces yet.

No doubt they’re waiting for a Netflix documentary to be ‘unveiled’.

refuge predators

It is disgusting that three asylum seekers who came here from Iran and Egypt were placed in hotels by the Government – even though one of them was a murderer – to gang rape a young woman on Brighton beach.

They filmed the attack laughing and spitting on him, the court heard. They have what they came for; free food and accommodation in the UK; albeit in a prison where I hope true justice will be served by hardened lifers.

Carey is still as fresh as Daisy

Carey Mulligan, left, as Daisy Buchanan in The Great Gatsby at an event this month

Carey Mulligan, 40, who is promoting her leading role in Netflix’s intriguingly awful drama Beef, warns women about the dangers of giving in to modern pressures for tweaks or plastic surgery, and says we should just accept ourselves as we are and age naturally.

She was 25 when she started filming The Great Gatsby, in which she plays Daisy, above left, and no doubt thanks to yoga, mindfulness and deep breathing, she doesn’t look a day older in Beef… 15 years later!

Am I the only one unimpressed with Victoria Beckham’s new Gap collaboration?

When I check my wardrobe, I already have two denim jackets, multiple pairs of jeans, two trench coats, and a white t-shirt.

While you can pick up Gap’s classic white crewneck for £12, anyone foolish enough to pay £25 for a white VB T-Shirt needs to read their mind.

Following unfunny comedian Jack Whitehall’s wedding to model Roxy Horner at Euridge Manor in Wiltshire, neighbors of the property’s owner, Jigsaw founder John Robinson, complained about loud noise and ‘taunting’. These were just the wedding guests moaning about Jack’s terrible jokes.

It is remarkable that 30 years after the movie Babe, about a pig who thinks he is a sheepdog, a piglet from Buckinghamshire called Theo (pictured) proves what the film’s Farmer Hoggett always believed: ‘The pig’ was as smart as any dog.

Theo can fly over jumps and obeys commands from his owner, Olivia Mikhail. As Hoggett says at the end of the film: ‘That’ll do, Pig. This works.

The new movie, Michael (as in Jackson), opens this weekend and is expected to make $150 million at the global box office.

Yet the series tells the story of his rise to become the world’s biggest star without saying a word about accusations of child sexual abuse.

You wonder why Jackson’s fans are still clinging on to their hero after it was revealed that he was not only crazy but also evil and completely out of control.

Ahead of his October trial on rape and sexual assault charges spanning from 1999 to 2009, Russell Brand admits to having ‘abusive’ sex with a 16-year-old girl when he was 30, but says it was consensual and therefore legal.

What should bother us more? Is it the fact that he’s so fed up with this encounter, the fact that he still has five million Instagram followers, or the fact that it’s taken so many years for his case to get to court?

Hunter’s deadly pursuit

Millionaire American big game hunter Ernie Dosio, 75, was killed by five aggressive elephants while hunting antelope in Africa.

They say he doesn’t stand a chance. However, none of the trophy killings occurred with his high-powered rifle.

Maybe it’s true what they say elephants never forget.

If there is any consolation after 56-year-old Wendy Duffy took her own life in a Swiss clinic after failing to recover from the death of her son Marcus, it is that she did not suddenly disappear like my grandfather Pop did.

After Nan died, he took his own life in his 60s. Wendy acted compassionately and explained her decision to her family. Pop’s five daughters spent years trying to find an explanation. I hope Wendy is now in heaven holding her son.

Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers insist there is a ‘good chance’ that Ghislaine Maxwell’s long-term friend Donald Trump will grant a Presidential pardon to convicted sex trafficker and pedophile madam Jeffrey Epstein.

If the ‘grab ’em by the p***y’ Donald wants to lose all the women’s votes in the next election, he won’t do it.

Farewell has been said to BBC’s Football Focus, which was taken off the air following allegations that it was woke. Many blamed presenter Alex Scott, but the sad truth is that most football fans are still men who don’t want to hear a woman’s opinion. Even someone with as distinguished a football career as Alex.