Empty Chairs: How one man’s heartbreak after losing his best friend sparked a nationwide pub-based campaign to tackle loneliness
R.ob Clancy lit up every room he entered. The big and bubbly personality of the 29-year-old actor left his mark on all his friends.
“He was the funniest guy,” Rob’s best friend Dean Perryman says fondly. “He was the life and soul of every gathering.”
Rob’s death by suicide in November 2025 left Dean grappling with deep feelings of guilt, and as he struggled to come to terms with the loss of his best friend, he wished he could do something to help.
Statistics show that suicide is the leading cause of death for young people under 35 in the UK. In 2023, 1,840 young people under 35 died by suicide in the UK; This number means approximately five young people every day.
“As we learn more about suicide and talk to more people who know people who have taken their own lives, Rob’s story becomes a really typical one,” Dean explains.
“He was the life and soul of every gathering. It was truly shocking to everyone around him that someone with such a big personality, who was so fun and cheerful and kind and compassionate, was in such a negative headspace and didn’t have the confidence to share it.”
As Dean tried to process the pain of losing Rob, he set himself a personal challenge. For a month after Rob’s death, she went to the pub every day to have a chat or two to help him open up about his feelings and also to provide others with the opportunity to talk to him if they needed.
It only took one trip to realize that what he did could also ease someone else’s pain. “I thought, ‘What am I good at? I’m good at talking to strangers and drinking beer,'” Dean explains. “So if I go to the bar, it seems like a place Rob could go when he’s having a bad moment or just wants to be in his own space.”
Dean decided the best way to get noticed was to wear a bright orange top and post information on social media about which bar to go to. Within four days someone came to chat.
Rob would have turned 30 in January. This turning point led Dean to offer others the chance to host their own events. Hoping it could give a person the opportunity to speak openly in a way their best friend might need before they die, Empty Chairs was born.
When asked how he feels about the pace of Empty Chairs’ growth, Dean says, “I’ve had a little bit of a hard time accepting the whole thing, to be honest.” In just eight short months, the campaign has seen 1,000 meets and even expanded to places like Colombia, the Falkland Islands and the United Arab Emirates.
“I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was a really good outlet for me to grieve and talk openly about Rob and how I was doing. Now to be in a position where it feels like we can create a legacy for Rob is truly incredible and more than I could have ever hoped for,” she adds.
The driving force behind success seems to be lack of pressure. Every event is free and open to everyone. Participants are encouraged to stay as long as they want, whether five minutes or an entire session, with no obligation to share anything personal.
“It really is: go to the venue, look for the person wearing bright orange, and sit down and chat,” says Dean.
He emphasizes that this is not crisis support and that anyone who needs immediate assistance should contact the Samaritans or call emergency services. But he believes Empty Chairs creates an environment “where real human connection can happen.”
Dean argues it also helps pubs return to their rightful place as community hubs at the heart of the community. “This has always been a place where these things should happen; it’s a shame that the world we live in now requires people to wear bright orange to make it work,” he adds.
Rob’s love of sports now drives Dean’s future plans. He has launched his “Match Days” version of Empty Chairs, which will be held before Southend United’s home matches, and dreams of having his events held next to every football ground in the country.
Dean wants everyone in attendance to know one thing: “Strangers are a lot kinder than we give them credit for, and that’s the biggest thing I learned about this whole experience. Everyone who came to sit with me was incredibly kind.”
“What I hear a lot is: ‘Oh, I’d stay home alone again tonight.’ And it’s nice to know that this comes from something that was personally the lowest point in my life.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress or struggling to cope, you can speak to Samaritans in confidence on 116 123 (UK and ROI) or visit the Samaritans website for details of your nearest branch.
If you are a US resident and you or someone you know needs sanity Call or text 988 for immediate help, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat at the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis helpline available to anyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you’re in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
