He thought he had plenty in reserve
“Sorry, I can’t make it to the beret (C8) party,” laments Seppo Ranki of Glenhaven. “I had a nice hat from my Army Reserve service because hats were not considered returnable equipment. Unfortunately, a few years later there was a cricket epidemic which left it full of holes. So went the cocked hat.”
Meri Will, of Baulkham Hills, reflects: “The mention of witches’ hats (C8) reminds me of the time I saw one stuck with a pointy point into the hole it was guarding. The next day there were two cardboard tubes protruding from the base of the hat. The first was wearing shoes, the second a pair of trousers. It looked like a witch had fallen into a ditch.”
“Effingham (C8) is rough enough but certainly not as inappropriate as the hamlet of Pett Bottom in Kent,” says Ray Seymour of Castle Hill. “Allegedly this is the birthplace of James Bond.”
Questioning of Dee Wyatt of Old Junee [surely at some point she’s lived in Dee Why – Granny] Several theories have been collected as to why robot vacuum cleaners need headlights (C8). Serge Nemaz of Illawong thinks: “So the cat can see it coming and get out of the way. The last thing a robovac needs is more cat hair clogging it up! By the way, I went to Junee. Is the old Junee somewhere near Junee Heights?”
Lugarno’s Col Burns keeps it contemporary: “The headlights provide illumination for dash cameras that surreptitiously upload video. TikTokAnd I have to say, Dee, your carpet gymnastics are pretty impressive.”
“I can’t help Dee with her robot vacuum cleaner needing headlights,” says Susan Bradley from Eltham (Vic). “But I know the eyeshadow on my salt and pepper grinder is incredibly useful! I bought it just for laughs since it had dropped significantly in price, but I found it to be surprisingly illuminating.”
Coral Button, from North Epping, says: “Just as it takes a village to raise children, it takes a theater audience to get a 94-year-old safely into a difficult seat.” “One holds his arm, one holds the seat, one makes an encouraging noise and the other holds his champagne until he is safely seated. Many thanks to everyone and a big round of applause to the Hayes Theater and its wonderful production.” Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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