Highly charismatic people use 5 phrases to be more memorable, says public speaking expert
Many people think that charisma is an innate trait. As a behavioral researcher who has been studying what makes people attractive for over 10 years, I have found that this is not the case.
Highly charismatic people have speech patterns they use to be more memorable. But anyone can use them to build stronger connections and leave people feeling warm and friendly.
There are five phrases that the most charismatic people use over and over again. None of them require you to be the loudest person in the room. All you have to do is pay attention and listen with genuine interest and respect.
1. ‘I was hoping to meet you.’
Most people underestimate how much other people enjoy their company. It’s a warm expression that’s almost guaranteed to make people feel good about themselves and you.
When to use: Say this when someone walks into a meeting or party. Not as superficial flattery, but as a sincere way of telling them, “You specifically make this place better.”
2. ‘You’ll love this.’
This phrase is a great way to say “you are one of my people.” This is a verbal gift that allows you to share a secret joy together. If you have a suggestion, question, or idea that you know someone would appreciate, get them excited by sharing it with them.
When to use: This is pretty universal. You can use this right before sharing a story you know someone will enjoy, or before telling them about a restaurant or event that matches their interests.
3. ‘What was that like for you?’
When someone mentions something that clearly enlightened them, ask, “What was that like for you?” Take it one step further by asking a version of the question. or “Tell me more about that.” If you can, give supportive cues during your conversation, such as leaning in and nodding. This helps others feel interesting and heard.
When to use: It’s easy to drop this in the middle of a conversation, especially when you hear something that interests you. Use this to highlight something your conversation partner is clearly proud of or excited about. Give them a chance to shine.
4. ‘I always leave our conversations thinking…’
This tells someone that your relationship is valuable and has left a lasting impression on you. Most of the time, they may not know that you feel that way about them. Charismatic people actively voice their positive emotions out loud.
When to use: This is closer to a great conversation. Use it at the end of a team meeting or coffee chat. If you always think someone is funny, insightful, or caring, let them know. We all need a reminder of how amazing we are.
5. ‘I wanted to ask you something.’
Asking someone for information gives them an instant confidence boost. This shows that you are thinking about them when they are not around. This also shows that you see them as a trusted authority.
When to use: You can use this phrase with a co-worker or your boss before starting a project. But this doesn’t just apply to professional environments. Think about all the people in your life; What advice can they give you? Then go look for them.
Vanessa Van Edwards He is a speaker, researcher and writer.Captivate: The Science of Being Successful with People” And “Tips: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication” is the founder. human scienceHe leads workshops and courses on science-based soft skills to help people become better communicators. His last book “Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction. It will be released in October 2026.
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