How to create better habits without relying on discipline
Many people think that if they are determined enough, if they push themselves really hard, they can create better habits.
According to James Clear, author of the New York Times bestselling book “Atomic Habits,” these people are missing an important piece of the self-control puzzle. Even if you’re disciplined, you probably need to put yourself in environments that allow you to stay that way, free from distractions or opportunities to break free from ongoing habits, Clear said on “The Mel Robbins Podcast” on Jan. 8. section.
“When you look at people who exhibit high levels of self-control, the common pattern among them is not that they have a higher level of discipline than the average person,” he said. “The common pattern is that they are less frequently in situations where they are tempted.”
For example, if you’re avoiding alcohol when doing Dry January for the first time, you may not want to go to happy hour with friends where outside pressures or fear of missing out might influence you. The goal is not to resist sin, but to stay away from it.
“You don’t need to try to be more disciplined. You don’t need to wish you were someone with more willpower,” Clear said. “You need to spend some time designing an environment where you won’t be tempted so often… This could mean no chips in the house, no cigarettes in the house, or simple things like that.”
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Your environment may include the people you surround yourself with: Making friends with like-minded people can help you focus, some studies show. If you and your friends regularly face situations that keep you from developing the habit you want, you may want to talk transparently with them about your goals or find other ways to spend time with them, Clear suggested.
“And that doesn’t mean I’ll never see these people again, but maybe I only see them in their pockets or in certain situations,” Clear said. “And then I try to introduce myself more to other people and hang out more.”
You may be tempted to tell yourself that if you fail in your quest for better habits, you should stop trying altogether. Instead, Clear recommended making your self-talk more optimistic. Tell yourself, for example, that your efforts today will pay off in the end, or that you can stay on course even if you make mistakes.
A positive attitude can also help you better manage the stress that comes with lifestyle and habit changes. 2023 report From the Mayo Clinic. “A bad attitude and self-pity makes any problem harder,” Clear said. “And so you add another challenge to an already challenging situation. That doesn’t serve you.”
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