‘I was crying almost every night’: Woman quit her $180K tech job despite living the American dream, here’s why
This question is at the center of a viral post shared on X by user Primzy, a Nigerian woman who says she walked away from a lucrative tech career in the United States after realizing the life she worked hard to build was making her miserable.
Her story resonated with thousands of people online because it highlights a growing debate around burnout, mental health, and the gap between external success and personal fulfillment.
In her post, Primzy announced that she earned approximately $180,000 a year in America while working in the technology sector.
“I was making $180,000 a year in America… and I was crying almost every night because I hated my life,” he wrote.
By his account, he moved from Nigeria seeking greater opportunities and achieved many of the milestones traditionally associated with success. He earned an engineering degree, found a well-paying tech job, rented a comfortable apartment in Dallas, and sent money home regularly to support his family.
He told the immigrants’ success story to his relatives and friends in the country.
But behind the scenes, he says he struggles with anxiety, fatigue and a growing sense of emptiness.
“I was working 70 hours a week, struggling with anxiety, and feeling empty,” she wrote.
The pressure of family sacrifice
The turning point came when he told his mother that he wanted to quit engineering and start a photography business. The answer came immediately.
His mother reportedly told him, “After everything we sacrificed? Don’t be stupid.”
The response reflects a challenge faced by many first-generation immigrants and children of immigrant families. Parents enduring financial difficulties often see stable, high-paying careers as a path to security. Leaving these careers can be risky not only for the individual but for the entire family.
Primzy said he stayed in business for another year, continuing to project success externally while struggling internally.
He eventually reached what he described as a collapse. “I couldn’t get out of bed,” he wrote.
Taking risks in photography
After resigning without a backup plan, Primzy said the decision strained her relationship with her parents. “My parents were disappointed and stopped calling for months,” he wrote.
But over time, his photography business began to grow through wedding shoots, portrait shoots, and commercial campaigns.
More importantly, he says, this job gives him something his previous career couldn’t: excitement and fulfillment. “I woke up excited to go to work for the first time in years,” he explained.
A year later, Primzy invited her family to the United States for her first solo photography exhibition. According to her post, her father watched visitors admire her photos and buy prints.
Then came an unforgettable moment: “I thought success was just about money and titles. I was wrong,” his father said, hugging him.
The story struck a chord with social media users, many of whom shared their own experiences with burnout, family expectations and career changes.
Primzy’s journey touches on a question that many professionals quietly grapple with: How much of success is about achievement and how much is about fulfillment?
While financial stability remains important, psychologists increasingly emphasize that meaningful work, personal autonomy, and mental health play important roles in long-term happiness.
His final thought captured this sentiment succinctly: “Sometimes success is not what you achieve… but what you refuse to endure.”
