If you and your partner make just one money move in 2026, do this
This is the season when everyone makes plans for next year. When it comes to money, I can assure you the secret isn’t a fancy investing tactic, a hot stock tip, or an obscure cryptocurrency.
If you and your spouse have set a single money resolution for 2026, do it this way: You both remain actively involved in your finances.
I have been a financial advisor for over 20 years and have run my own wealth management firm for nine years, and I know it is the most effective commitment most couples can make. But this is missing in many relationships.
The dangers of disconnecting
Leaving money to one spouse leaves your family vulnerable. If something happens to the person in charge (illness, death, even divorce), the other is left to struggle. I’ve helped heartbroken spouses piece together their accounts, passwords, and plans at the worst moments imaginable, and I wouldn’t wish that outcome on anyone.
But even in less dramatic situations, letting an overwhelmed person make all the decisions is still ineffective. You miss the power of two perspectives, and the disconnected partner loses strength and confidence.
I’ve encountered countless couples who, even with their best intentions, lose the plot over time. Many never address the subtle shifts in their dynamics that make it easier for a partner to take the lead with their money. I would often encounter a single client in our financial planning meetings, and I was told their partner was too busy, uninterested, anxious, or overwhelmed to join us.
For a long time, I didn’t understand why until it happened in my own home.
‘This doesn’t work anymore’
During the pandemic, my wife, Heather, was juggling a lot: practicing law in the general counsel office of a Fortune 100 company, moonlighting as a business consultant for my wealth management company, and keeping me and our two daughters clothed, fed, entertained, and safe.
As a result of the physical, mental and emotional labor he undertakes for all of us, he has become cut off from the financial resources of our home. Money seemed like the only thing he didn’t have to worry about. In fact, it was the only thing I wanted to have from beginning to end, and it was damaging our relationship.
I’m grateful that he had the courage to say, “This doesn’t work anymore.” The difficult conversations that followed caused us to rethink what we wanted from our careers, how we divided the labor, and how we could re-approach money as a team.
Build yourself a money team
“Talking about money is never just about money, which inspired Heather and I to spend two years interviewing other couples for our new book,”Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team”
Effective communication is essential.
Here are some ways to connect with intention, go beyond the numbers, and get your finances together, even if it’s the harder thing to do.
- Start with an honest review. Plan a distraction-free time and place to get into it all. Do you both have access to your accounts? Are all passwords saved in your password managers? You both need to have a basic understanding of your net worth. Review what you earn (cash flow), what you own (assets and investments), what you owe (debt), and what you want (goals).
- Examine time from each of your perspectives. Ask each of you if you have time to do what you want and need to do. To free up finances, you may need to delegate responsibilities and automate or outsource less critical tasks.
- Create a regular practice. Make recurring money dates non-negotiable. We recommend that these meetings be held quarterly; This won’t be too tiring and will create enough space between meetings to understand real progress.
- Meet your partner where they are. I often encounter couples where one partner knows less than the other or is less comfortable with finances, and that’s partly why they break up. It can seem daunting. Adapt your approach to your partner’s learning style and check what resonates.
- Bring in outside help if necessary. An unbiased financial advisor or therapist who specializes in money dynamics can navigate difficult conversations without bias and offer financial advice tailored to your specific situation.
When Heather and I eventually reconnected over money, it both secured our wallets and deepened our relationship. Make 2026 the year you prioritize staying on top of your finances; I know from experience how transformative this can be.
Douglas A. Boneparth is the president and founder Bone Seedling RichnessA New York City-based wealth management company focused on millennials, young professionals, and entrepreneurs. He is a member CNBC’s Financial Advisory Council. Boneparth and his wife, HeatherThey are co-authors of “Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team“
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