In the face of incurable cancer, a Tank Girl T-shirt lifts my mood – here’s why | UK | News

Signs that I had stopped caring what other people thought began to materialize about 17 years ago when I was reading a fashion article in The Guardian. The author seemed to have it in his head that no man over the age of 30 should wear a hoodie, but instead should just live in sweaters. This seemed like a personal insult at the time, because I was approaching 30, had quite a few hoodies in my wardrobe, and had a lifelong dislike of choosing between roll-neck and V-neck sweaters. So I rejected the so-called fashion expert’s advice and hid my hoodies.

And now, over 30 years later, I was going to do that but I didn’t, I’m going to buy a T-shirt that says “Teenage Lobotomy” on it. He doesn’t just say these two words. This is a t-shirt that was first released as part of the merchandising range for the movie Tank Girl, so the image shows it next to these words. (Tank Girl is a highly anarchic comic book character in the minds of Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett.)

I didn’t do it at the time because I was worried about what people would think. Would they think I had a lobotomy? Would they realize this was promoting a movie? So what would my family think if I came home from the stores with a shirt like this?

So after spending hours at the record store considering the pros and cons of such a t-shirt (after several trips), I never took it to the checkout counter.

Now, 31 years later, I still won’t take it to the cash register. Instead, I’ll add it to my online cart, hit the checkout button, and eagerly await delivery. And I’m really excited about it.

I’m excited because I’m the one who says I don’t care what other people think. I don’t care if they know about the movie or the comic. I don’t care if some people think this is weird. I say that I do things because I want to, not because others want them to.

Maybe I should wear it during my consultation at the hospital in a week, where I will be told how far my cancer has spread in the last few months.

Yes, for those who have not read my posts before, I have incurable bowel cancer and after hitting my head with all kinds of dangerous drugs for three years, the cancer is thought to have been fought off. This means I will probably be one of the 89% of people with stage four bowel cancer who will not live more than five years.

I have to wear this because when it first went on sale I knew what I wanted to be but I didn’t know how to get there. Now I have to become a journalist and try to improve the lives of as many people as possible before I die.

So this will be a symbol of how the struggle continues. Cancer may be fighting and will eventually win, but that cannot hinder my mission to improve the lives of people with cancer.

The Daily Express’ Cancer Care campaign triumphed in February when then-Health Secretary Wes Streeting promised a personal cancer plan for every patient, including mental health support both during and after treatment.

And now, amidst all the political shenanigans that will be witnessed at Westminster in the coming months, I am still working behind the scenes to ensure this plan does not go through.

I’d like to say that’s what Tank Girl would do, but since I haven’t seen the movie and haven’t read the comics, I’m not really sure. My excuse is that the movie hasn’t been shown in theaters near me in a long time and I don’t remember seeing it at the local video rental place.

Thanks to an invention called the Internet, it’s easier these days to find movies made years ago, so I’ll make sure I watch the movie before my t-shirt is delivered.

And I’ll keep doing the things I want to do until I die, which I don’t want to do.