She’s a legit national icon. But is it wrong to want Kylie to be a bit more…interesting?
I’m watching the new Kylie The doco on Netflix wasn’t on my to-do list. I can’t stop looking at infrared face masks and how to save Insta recipes without taking screenshots.
Look, I love his music. There is always. I can still say every word A Kind of Happiness And Too Much of a Good Thing. At my first wedding The Devil You Know Is Better It was our second song. I kept their first three albums on vinyl through five house moves.
But apart from the songs and fashion, Kylie has never impressed me. He hasn’t said anything in 35 years that I find truly intelligent, funny or even sarcastic.
The things he shared in interviews verged on the banal. Basis. Especially at that time with the fake British accent. I never thought, “God, I’d love to sit next to her at book group.”
The fact that late Models frontman James Freud criticized Kylie in his own song says a lot about my personality. 2002 book As a famous tight ass who gives little end-of-tour bonuses to his musos, I felt kind of gleeful.
Yes, by saying this I risk the villagers marching on my house with spears. Kylie is one of our very few legitimate national icons. It’s probably illegal not to gush about him endlessly and tell strangers that we can’t wait for his big finale show.
However. I was scrolling while porridge was cooking on Thursday and couldn’t escape the Kylie-related stories. Doco’s ‘nine big takeaways’ headlines from sex and drugs era, previously secret second cancer diagnosis of 2021
So please, please, I put out the first ep thinking it would be more interesting than it was before.
And I was hooked.
Wow. What an amazing time capsule. Kylie — in her now-essential white shirt on the now-necessary neutral sofa in a well-lit room with a large Beckham docos-style closet — is lovely to talk about her life.
Still not very interesting. We hear that he hates the rustle of paper in the precious possession of the first few minutes. But sincerely. Especially when you remember Michael Hutchence.
I challenge you not to get misty when Kylie gets muggy. If you are old enough to know that joy and loss go hand in hand, its grief will bring you back to your inevitable, flammable experiences of love.
The feeling is so strong when he says, “I’ve probably been looking for something ever since… and I couldn’t find it.”
The weird thing is that even though this is Kylie’s story, it’s also everyone’s story.
1970s home movies of tiny Kylie on her tricycle posing on suburban lawns, in bed after school making mix tapes on her cassette player; You can smell the apricot chicken and perm solution. Hear him hiss “Shut up, I’m recording” to the brothers walking in.
There’s so much pop culture gold. Kylie and sister Dannii while singing in matching dresses The Sisters Do It For Themselves Open Young Talent Time. Kylie punched Jason Donovan in his first match neighbors scene. Kylie gets her hair done in a hotel bathroom while Jason films his real-life love.
Also, PS, Jason is actually a standout star. He is so honest and smiling. He’s talking about the time he and Kylie “got together” at a Sydney Travelodge. She berates herself for renting a small, cheap Ford and driving Kylie in the back of “rock god” Hutchence’s limousine on the night the INXS frontman and Singing Budgie met.
What I didn’t expect: Even after two out of three seconds, Kylie’s dullness begins to feel less like a character flaw and more like a superpower.
He was never an asshole. Or controversial. She kept her finances, reputation, and dignity intact through illness and often terrible taste in men. He doesn’t confuse fame with importance. They probably remember your coffee order.
This kind of restraint—deliberate, careful, self-protective—suddenly feels like a very destructive thing. More admirable than interesting.
Kylie has no “real me” campaign. A woman who has continued to emerge for decades and escape fame without becoming grotesque. Also, there is no resentment or victimization, no scary words like “people told me I was too much or not enough”.
Join hands, go to Kylie.
Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.
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