Hilary Duff’s latest Instagram content has suburban millennial moms gasping, a tennis match turns nasty & MEAT

Where are my 38-year-old millennial moms? Hilary Duff set Instagram on fire on Tuesday with a dump of content that has suburban moms talking, that’s for sure. With a new album and a summer tour consisting mostly of suburban amphitheatres, Duff, 38, is about to have a monster summer.

I have to give Duff credit. While many Gen She posts content from her own life on Instagram, doesn’t have a “Save Ukraine” flag (I can find that), and prides herself on being hot.

Many times, these A-listers will turn 33 and suddenly think it’s time to start praying to imaginary butterflies and drinking cucumber juice to ward off cancer. In 2022, Duff appeared naked on the cover of Women’s Health, wearing only an arm bra. This was right in the middle of the fully awake period when these covers are normally reserved for trans models.

Now it’s 2026 and while Duff is at the top of her game, many others have been left behind. A summer tour is exactly what millennial moms need: a night away from the kids, sipping Surfside vodka lemonades while listening to music from one of their heroes, as the sun sets on another day of their lives. Guys, do yourselves a favor and tell your millennial spouse to gather some friends to head to the Duff tour stop. Encourage. Tell the ladies you’ll drive the minivan.

These will all come in handy when you want to go on a golf trip. Trust me.

I started opening TNML mail last night and let’s just say there is a big problem with some of the best mowing capabilities

Two of the league’s best lawn mowers sent the smallest envelopes they could find. Considering how smart they are at mowing, I’m truly amazed at how clumsy they are with envelopes. Mowing ability does not translate to the secretarial side of life.

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I tell screencaps readers to turn their heads because you never know where you’ll find Dale Earnhardt content

– Harvey D. at my old haunts this week: I spotted this gem in the paint aisle of the #unsponsored Home Depot in Beavertucky (Beavercreek OH for those outside the Greater Dayton Area). Raise Hell and Praise Dale!!

Have you reached a point in life where your lanai or patio is more important than the house you live in?

Yes like that. We have a living room that I haven’t used since Christmas 2024. Meanwhile, I keep looking out the back door onto the porch and seeing what my life will be like when the rain stops and summer comes. I’ll be on that porch until 10-10:30 almost every night. I’ll sit there and stare into space. I will look at the flowers and listen to the birds chirping until I fall asleep.

For all you young millennials out there looking for a home, I can’t emphasize enough how important a patio will be in your life. I know you’ve looked at suburban homes with flooring outside the kitchen that barely fits the patio. Do yourself a favor and put away twice the size of the porch you would buy with the house she wants.

TRUST ME. Find a concrete man and plan. Then I want you to go to the AI ​​and tell it to choose the right shade tree, the perfect grasses and plants for that area. Get your shade tree in the ground NOW. Prices are increasing rapidly. Plant now and you’ll be in business when you’re 38, like Hilary Duff. TRUST ME.

Mailbag: Fast food

– Nick asks: Is there a fast food restaurant you wish you had near you? For example, mine would be Arby’s and Burger King.

Kinsey: Dave’s Cosmic Submarines. A regional sandwich shop. I think they are from Cleveland. We had one for a few years but then it disappeared. Dave’s stores are now in the Toledo area but we have to go downtown to get sandwiches. This is a hassle. By the way, what are the prices of subs these days? Wow.

The beauty of not being invited to the wedding

– Phil S. in Florida offers some perspective: It’s been about 10 years since I’ve been to a wedding. Although it was some fun, I ended up leaving exhausted and thinking the party sucked. There was too much work. The bride was a friend and co-worker, the groom (no kidding) was a random guy who walked into our store whose number I gave him. As Cupid, this made me the bride’s man of honour, whereas she had her Best Maid, a lovely idea I suppose. This meant I was a part of the wedding, the reception, every damn picture, and someone every stranger there wanted to talk to. I couldn’t wait to leave.

There is also the expense of attending a wedding; This is even more so when you have a role to play. Forget buying a gift that will cover the cost of your regular presence there. The wedding party needs to up its gift game. So I left some money to stand quietly next to some people during a ceremony, then stand in the spotlight for strangers at a party where I just wanted to get drunk. Years later he would come up with a quote that really touched me. “If someone doesn’t invite me to the wedding, I want to thank them,” Sox and Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf said during the documentary The Last Dance. The hammer meets the nail right there. Your uninvited cards basically mean that the couple loves you too much to attend a wedding and needs to be responded to with thank you cards.

About Ella Langley’s bangs

– Screenshots of Ragnar Relay Greg emails: Will Ella Langley be someone like Zooey Deschanel whose appearance will largely be defined by her bangs? Seriously – look for pictures of Zooey with and without bangs. He looks like two different people!

Is society ready for this type of car?

Mike T. in Idaho wants us to think about this. Do you care if the car you drive doesn’t have a rear window? Personally, I’d like to see if there’s a cop behind me, but I’m told you have to look at the dashboard or something like that.

What is this ET?

– Jim Mac checks in: My wife (Vietnamese) says the sandwich is made with pork. They ground the meat into a very fine paste, seasoned it with fish sauce and pepper, then wrapped it in plastic wrap and banana leaves, then steamed it for a few hours and it was done.

– John C. says: A long time ago, when I was in college, I dated a Vietnamese girl. The unknown meat is a ground pork sausage called cha lua. The color looks sketchy but it’s actually delicious. If you come across it, you should give it a try.

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That’s it for this morning. Emailers are starting to get back in the game. Last week was a tough week, but we’re gaining traction here again. The vibrations are healing. I’m starting to think about life and the outside world again. Zooms have slowed down. Life is starting to get back on track.

Let’s go out and finish April strong. You only have two more days before we turn the calendar to what I consider the beginning of summer. I can feel it in my soul. That terrace is calling me at night. Go have a great day.

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