Use a 3-step formula to help people handle uncertainty: Dr. Becky Kennedy
Uncertainty can feel scary, whether you’re a child or an adult.
But clinical psychologist and founder of parenting support platform Good Inside, Dr. According to Becky Kennedy, in situations where you may not have control over the outcome, you can help yourself and those around you feel more comfortable with an unknown situation simply by how you describe the situation.
Kennedy recommends a simple, three-step formula for parents to use with their children to help leaders alleviate anxiety caused by uncertainty in the workplace. It’s a strategy every parent and leader “should keep in mind,” he said during a conversation. Charter’s New Employer Brand Summit In New York on June 9.
The format is simple:
- Start with what you know
- Accept the uncertain
- Again, end with something you know
“Uncertainty doesn’t make us feel as unsafe as nameless uncertainty,” Kennedy said. She explained that genuinely acknowledging what you don’t know, rather than glossing over it or pretending to have all the answers, can help people around you feel more comfortable with change.
Kennedy shared the example of a kid who wanted to start a football team. As a parent, she would say this using the three-part formula:
- “Look, I know this: You’re studying football, that’s great. You want to try out for this team. There’s a lot of other good kids in town.”
- “What I don’t know is: I don’t know if you can do it.”
- “One more thing I know: No matter what happens, we will get through this together.”
In the workplace, this can help manage anxiety about potential changes, Kennedy said, citing an example of a boss addressing his team:
- “You’ve heard whispers that we might be making some changes to the company. There might be a restructuring. That’s completely true.”
- “What I don’t know is: I don’t know the exact date. I don’t even know exactly who’s going to be involved in this, to be honest.”
- “What I do know is that if this happens, you will know, you will know directly, and no matter what, I will find a way to support you.”
Kennedy made an analogy to passengers experiencing turbulence on a plane. If the pilot doesn’t communicate during turbulence, he said, passengers will feel “horrible” being left in the dark. He added that when a pilot addresses the elephant in the room, it can be as simple as saying, “Hey, we’re going through turbulence. I don’t know exactly how long it’s going to last, but I’ll talk to you as soon as I get more information.”
Kennedy said that while the pilot may not have all the information passengers might want to hear at that moment, most people will be relieved that the person in charge was transparent, communicative and aware of their feelings and concerns.
As Kennedy put it, “Everything changes[s] just because they were willing to talk to him.”
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