Alleged JPMorgan sex slave scandal makes me think of one brazen lady who I worked with… and her shocking office nickname: KENNEDY

The financial world exploded Wednesday over a story about an attractive female Manhattan bank manager accused of sexually harassing and assaulting a married male colleague.

I couldn’t stop thinking about my experiences with overly aggressive female bosses.

Lorna Hajdini, managing director of JPMorgan Chase, was accused in a legal filing in which the complainant was named ‘John Doe’. He was later revealed to be Chirayu Rana. According to his lawsuit, Rana worked with Hajdini on JPMorgan’s leveraged buyout team.

Memes that made the typical finance bros swell their chests quickly arrived. One showed a man whispering to JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon: ‘Sir, job applications are up 686,000 percent this morning.’

Ha, how funny, but the sexual assault allegation is not funny at all. If this happened at America’s largest bank, it would be a historic scandal.

But let’s be clear, JPMorgan denied Rana’s allegations and said it was conducting an internal investigation into the allegations. Rana, who has since left the megabank to investment firm Bregal Sagemount, did not cooperate with the investigation, according to the bank.

“While multiple employees cooperated with the investigation, the complainant declined to participate and refused to present facts that would be central to supporting her allegations,” JPMorgan said in a statement.

Hajdini also issued a statement through his legal team, strongly denying Rana’s allegations: ‘Lorna categorically denies the allegations. ‘He never engaged in any inappropriate behavior with this person and did not even go to the location where the alleged sexual assault occurred.’

Chirayu Rana (above) worked with Hajdini on JPMorgan’s leveraged buyout team

Well, this is more than a little problematic! A finance executive who does business with all the major banks in the city told me that JPMorgan is the most respected among them.

People don’t linger there, and Ms Hajdini is known as a ‘closer’ who is brought into advanced negotiations as a serious voice that accelerates big deals and gets them across the finish line. My source said: ‘There’s no way a woman with a job and responsibilities would have the time to deal with something like this.’

My personal experience makes me even more skeptical of the accusations.

Believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time around horny women, and they have no problem getting their way, but these hot pussies don’t tend to be high-end suits armed with MBAs and big dreams.

They are basically hot girls who like attention.

A sassy lady I worked with years ago had so many photos of male genitalia on her phone that she could have been mistaken for a urologist.

Apparently, she rounded up sugar daddies like some women grab Louis Vuitton bags, and they showered her with all kinds of luxury perks, including Amex black cards.

Some of the other cat ladies at work had nicknamed him ‘Sea Biscuit’ because they said he had been ridden so many times. But this wasn’t a high-flying female executive, this was a bottom-feeding status seeker.

Ms Hajdini is known as a ‘closer’ who is brought into advanced negotiations as a serious voice that accelerates major deals and gets them across the finish line

JPMorgan denied Rana’s claims and said it was conducting an internal investigation into the allegations (Image: JPMorgan’s Manhattan headquarters)

Having worked at more than a dozen major media companies over the last three decades, many of them were run by serious and ambitious female bosses; I can say that these women are focused on proving themselves, making money and winning.

I have found that as women climb the corporate ladder, they are much less prone to indulge in distracting perversions than their cuckold counterparts.

Do you really think that a woman who is elbowing her way to the top of Mount Dimon would risk her enviable career like that?

Because women competing with driven men don’t tend to act like (allegedly) Eric Swalwell in pants. They are much more excited to get results and beat the men at their own game.

To succeed!

Perpetually bored social justice warriors are now turning to activist nail technicians who turn women’s fingers into anti-ICE billboards.

Nail art with thoughtful phrases like ‘FCK ICE’ is meant to humiliate federal law enforcement, but long nails are actually just E. coli magnets

These people are truly full of cr*p.

Nail art featuring thoughtful phrases like ‘FCK ICE’ is intended to humiliate federal law enforcement, but long nails are actually just E. coli magnets

Free, free… sex?

Speaking of dirty activists, it appears that another pro-terrorist flotilla heading towards Gaza is not aiming for a completely free, free Palestine.

When the Israeli army boarded the ships, they found condoms and bags filled with suspicious white powder.

These horny people who love Hamas have turned their love boats into floating brothels!

you are hired

Amazon owns the rights to Donald Trump’s former TV show project, The Apprentice, and rumor has it that the giant studio is planning to bring everything to a different Don: Donald Trump Jr. It negates the idea of ​​bringing it back with .

The president’s son was unaware that his name was being gossiped about, but the Republicans said, ‘You’re fired!’ In 2028, young Don may be looking for a new job.

Amazon is releasing The Apprentice with a different Don: Donald Trump Jr. He’s trying to bring it back.

It cannot be said that the aim of another pro-terrorist flotilla heading towards Gaza is a completely free, free Palestine (Image: A boat stopped by Israel in the Global Sumud Flotilla)

crazy clucking

Korean Air has really stuck its beak into this.

The airline banned roosters from flights after a report that Texans were supplying birds to the Philippines for cockfighting.

Somewhere, Samuel L Jackson thinks he’s missing out on a fantastic sequel.

‘That’s enough! I experienced these [bleeping] roosters about it [bleeping] aeroplane!’