I started going to a new gym but noticed everyone acted as if I didn’t exist – then what the personal trainer said next left me fuming

A woman who started attending a new gym claimed she was repeatedly ignored by other members, including her personal trainer, then criticized for speaking up about it.

Mel Reeve said she joined a fitness class at a Sydney gym hoping to meet new people and feel like part of a ‘community’, but instead felt isolated from the start.

‘I was really trying to connect with people and open up to them, but every day people ignored me and acted like I didn’t exist,’ she said.

He claimed that even when he made an effort to introduce himself, the response was cold. According to Reeve, she would approach other women in the class to say hello, but they would simply walk away mid-conversation or avoid interaction altogether.

The situation got worse when he tried to voice how he felt, telling another member that he felt there was no ‘sense of community’ in the space.

That’s when he said things turned around.

‘A coach and a girl completely demonized me when I said there was no sense of community,’ she said.

Reeve claimed his personal trainer ignored his concerns and challenged his perspective.

Mel Reeve said she joined a group fitness studio at a Sydney gym hoping to meet new people and feel part of a community, but instead felt isolated from the start.

‘He tried to tell me that it was my opinion and my experiences were not valid,’ she said.

She said the conversation started when another woman tried to have a ‘meaningful conversation about community and connection’ with the gym-goer, but was instead shut down and made to feel like she didn’t belong.

‘For some reason he was determined to let me know that, being new, I had no power or authority; “This is a completely disgusting culture,” he said.

‘We go to group sport to be part of a community so we don’t get ostracized and judged, and we were told we weren’t welcome because we said we felt uncomfortable.’

Her experience divided people online; Some support his version of events, while others suggest the situation may have been misunderstood.

Many commentators defended Reeve, including a former gym owner who said he had previously been a member of his studios.

‘As a former gym owner and formerly member of Mel’s, I can honestly say she has always been nothing but a positive force,’ they wrote.

‘Great energy, always connecting with people and really making the space better just by being in it. ‘Our members loved him, the coaches loved him too.’

According to Reeve, she would approach other women in the class to say hello, but they would simply walk away mid-conversation or avoid interaction altogether.

Others agreed that group fitness should be inclusive.

One person said, ‘At the end of the day, this is what group fitness is all about; “community, supporting each other, lifting each other up and creating an environment where people feel like they belong,” he said.

But not everyone saw it that way.

Some have suggested that the conflict may stem from different personalities and expectations, while some gymgoers prefer to train quietly without social interaction.

‘You are an extremely outgoing person… People around you don’t like training in silence and they like it,’ one commenter wrote.

Another added: ‘Some people already have great friendship groups and just because you go to the same studio doesn’t mean you’ll automatically fit in.’

Others argued that criticism of the gym was unfair and that members joined for their own reasons.

‘Walk away instead of criticizing its members who are there for their own reasons, which may not involve a small business and socializing,’ one person said.

The role of the instructor has also become a major topic of discussion; While some say staff should help create a welcoming environment, especially for new members, others believe it is not their responsibility to manage social dynamics.

This highlights the tension in modern fitness culture, where group classes are often marketed as communities, but the reality can vary widely depending on people and environment.

For some, it’s a place to connect and socialize, while for others, it’s just a place to educate.

And when those expectations aren’t aligned, it can quickly turn from motivating to irritating, especially for newcomers trying to find their feet.

It also touches on a wider debate about social culture in Australia, which has been criticized as being difficult to get into, especially for foreigners and even people moving between cities.

While Australians are seen as outwardly friendly, many say it can take time to form deeper connections, with established social circles and routines making it difficult for new people to feel included.

In areas such as gyms, where the ‘community’ is often part of the sale, the gap between expectation and reality can become even starker.

For those walking alone, the difference between a warm environment and a closed one can shape whether they stay or walk away altogether.

The Daily Mail has contacted the gym for comment.