Joe Swash shares experiences as young dad for new BBC documentary

“I remember feeling so scared and vulnerable,” says actor and TV host Joe Swash when he became a father in his twenties.

Swash learned that he would become a father at the age of 24. She says it was a life-changing experience and that she felt “grossly unprepared,” adding that there was “no one I could really talk to.”

The presenter said her and her ex-partner’s conversations with midwives “rightly” focused on the expectant mother, but she felt lonely and no one asked her how she was doing. There were no father-child support groups, and Swash, who lost his father at age 11, felt he had no positive male role models to turn to.

She would worry about little things like how to change her diaper or how warm her bottle should be. and felt that everyone was “looking down on” him because he was a young father.

BBC documentary explores feeling ‘not entirely supported’ as a young father Joe Swash: Forgotten Young Fathers.

In the film, the former EastEnders star meets four young fathers and explores some of the issues they face, from social stereotypes to a lack of parental support services.

Last year, fathers were on average 34 years old when their children were born. Office for National Statistics. By the way, all the fathers in the BBC documentary are between 18 and 22 years old.

Kevin Stoodley is the founder of North East Young Fathers and Lads (NEYDL), a charity providing parenting and community support to young fathers.

Stoodley says in his 27 years as a community youth worker, he has “never encountered a community as stigmatized” as young fathers.

Swash says that as a young father he “really struggled” with the judgment of others and felt that people saw him as “irresponsible.”

He adds that young fathers often have a “bad reputation” and are described as “nonexistent.”

“I would be interested to know how many of these ‘non-fathers’ are not there because they want to, or because they are so vulnerable, scared and frightened that they have nowhere to go and no support,” he explains.

Swash says society needs to “recalibrate” the way it views young fathers. Stoodley agrees, saying young fathers have historically been unfairly “perceived as incompetent, uncaring and, in some cases, a risk to their children.”

He adds that some of the young fathers he met were judged by their communities and “told they were ruining their lives.”

According to Swash, having positive male role models is key to supporting young fathers.

Swash said that after his father died, he “longed as a young man for a male role model to put his arms around me and take care of me; whether it was a negative role model or a positive role model, I was just desperate to have a role model”.

“If all we see on social media and television are negative role models, you may be misled into thinking this is the kind of man you want to be,” he adds.

“We can all fight in the streets and go on boys’ holidays, but not everyone can change a nappy and love and nurture and care for a child, and for me that’s an alpha male,” explains Swash.

Having positive male role models is “crucial” in helping young fathers navigate their new roles, Stoodley says.

The founder says NEYDL also aims to address toxic masculinity and guide young men towards being a good role model.

Stephen Graham, who recently starred in Adolescence, which explored toxic masculinity. announced his new book We call on fathers to have more open conversations with their sons.

Swash says the lack of support for young fathers is “pretty incredible”.

Swash states that during the production of the documentary, he and his team had difficulty finding support services for young men and that there should be a service that all young fathers can benefit from.

Existing services, such as NEYDL, provide parenting and community support to young fathers. But Stoodley says more national investment is needed.

Swash adds that support could mean simple things like having more nappy-changing stations in men’s restrooms or larger shifts: “I basically think society needs to change the way it views young fathers and young families.”

“I felt really alone,” Swash adds of his own experiences as a young father.

Swash, a parent of six children, says he is “proud” to be a young father and loves his children “passionately”.

But he admits many young men are not as “lucky” as he is and encourages young fathers to have conversations with each other and “not suffer in silence”.

You can watch Joe Swash: Forgotten Young Dads on Monday, October 20 at 8pm on BBC Three and the BBC. iPlayer.