Seeking that spotlight
Following a recent letter from Richard Branson (C8), Aidan Cuddington of Umina Beach wrote: “Wondering how many of the Column 8 contributors share names with others of greater fame and fortune. I know I don’t. There’s only me and I’m not famous yet. Thanks for helping me ruthlessly self-promote.”
While we think Aidan has sold himself poorly, we can confirm that when he’s not belting out tunes for U2, Paul Hewson (Bono to his pals) is quite happy to hang out in Raymond Terrace, while Warren Mitchell falls ill. And Health in Mosman. Seems logical, right?
No wonder built-in obsolescence is a thing. Addressing the final issue of appliance lifespan (C8), Mary Billing of Allambie Heights said: “I would like to add my sadness at the recent demise of my beloved St George oven, which came with the house when it was built around 1967 and continued working until the door was closed. This company went out of business because their products were so good.”
Toby Waters of Emerald Beach writes: “My sister had a vacuum cleaner that worked for 20 years until she couldn’t suck it anymore. She dropped it as she moved it to the tip, and the blow opened up a dazzling secret compartment full of accessories to get into those little nooks and crannies. I wonder if that’s the longest sucker punch in suburban history?”
“His neighbor Pat dived under the kitchen table during an apparent earthquake during his first week at the beach house,” recalls Michael Britt of MacMasters Beach [What’s with all these beaches? – Granny]. “After a minute he noticed that his Hoover Twin Tub was in spin dry mode and had reached a terminal speed of 3000 RPM.”
Forster’s Wal Sloane asks: “Why do e-Vehicles that need every volt and amp to get to the next charging station have the biggest screen of front and rear battery-draining lights?”
“Many years ago two colleagues of mine were walking in front of me and a bird pooped on one of them (C8),” says William Galton, of Hurstville Grove. “He complained loudly about what had happened, but the man walking next to him said that a bird pooping on you is considered good luck. He angrily asked how that could be considered good luck. His friend said, ‘Well, he could have shit on me, too’.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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