‘We have to stay calm in high emotion’: What it’s really like to answer a call from a missing child
On a Monday morning, a hotline worker answered a call from a concerned parent whose 15-year-old son had not come home the night before. By lunchtime, they had also heard from a 14-year-old girl who had skipped school and was afraid to return, and from a 17-year-old girl who said she wanted to take the train and never come back.
On Wednesday evening that week, they had spoken to a missing 14-year-old boy in foster care who was being abused and at risk of suicide, a 16-year-old girl who wanted to disappear with her nine-year-old sister to protect herself from a shooting, and a mother who burst into tears because her autistic son did not come home.
These are just a small selection of the calls received each week by the charity Missing People, where helpline staff listen, advise and support anyone affected by disappearance.
Like Independent and Missing People set out to raise £165,000 to launch SafeCall, a new free service offering support and safety to children. We spoke to the behind-the-scenes workers who help many of the 70,000 young people who go missing each year.
donate Here or text SAFE to 70577 to donate £10 to Missing People, enough for one child to get help.
The charity’s helpline workers often deal with calls and messages from people who are in distress, need advice or are simply willing to listen. It is estimated that approximately 13 young people call the charity every day.
Paul Joseph, head of the charity’s helpline, said: “There will always be a sense of calm from the team, whether they are on the phone or responding to a message, even if someone is really worried and it is a very high emotion they will respond calmly and warmly.
“It’s really important that we create a space where people can say things and not be judged.”
Missing persons staff will talk about their situation and assess their safety to understand what support they need.
If they are talking to a caller who is concerned about someone else being missing, they will talk to them about things they can do to look for that person and help them take the next steps in filing a missing person report.
If desired, the charity can forward a message to the family, police or social services or connect them with a three-way call. “It’s really important that during these conversations, we’re there to advocate for that person and make sure that the third party we’re talking to understands what’s going on.”
The charity also has a service called TextSafe, which sends messages to missing people at the request of police and offers them confidential helpline support.
Most of the messages the hotline worker receives are from people who receive TextSafe messages. “They can be a little nosy sometimes,” Mr. Joseph said. “They might wonder why they’re getting the message. They might ask us who we are and what we do, and we’ll explain it to them to see if we can help them.”
The team also receives intelligence from people who have seen a referral made to someone or have information about a case.
Mr Joseph added that it was a job that required hard work: “It has to be someone whose way of communicating is always warm… It is difficult to convey emotions in a message, and it is difficult to convey emotions in a text message. It is a real skill.
“We need people who are resilient, who can hear the hard things and talk about the hard things.”
He said some of the harder calls to hear came from people who had been subjected to “truly terrible things” or had been let down by their carers or the services responsible for them.
“I think it’s really difficult to talk to the families of people who have been missing for a long time,” Mr. Joseph said.
Workers always hope that the person they are talking to will inform them of their situation. He said it can be difficult to talk to someone for a long time and not hear from them.
Although a typical workday may include heartbreaking phone calls or texts, it is incredibly rewarding. “The team knows they are there for these people during really tough times,” Mr. Joseph said.
Please donate now To the Independent and Missing Persons’ Safe Call campaign, which aims to raise £165,000 to create a free, nationwide service to help vulnerable children find safety and support.
If you or a loved one is lost, text or call the charity Missing People on 116 000 for advice, support and options. It’s free, confidential and non-judgmental. Or visit www.missingpeople.org.uk/get-help
If you are experiencing feelings of distress or finding it difficult to cope, you can speak to Samaritans confidentially on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org or visit . Samaritans Website to find details of your nearest branch. If you are a US resident and you or someone you know needs mental health help right now, call or text 988 or visit: 988lifeline.org To access online chat on the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis helpline available to anyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country you can go www.befrienders.org To find a helpline near you.
