11 phrases to help you gain influence and navigate awkwardness at work, from communication experts

Workplace expert Henna Pyor, business conflicts may be disturbing, but it is necessary to manage them effectively.

Ask an increase from your boss, whether you want to get a hard feedback from a colleague, try to memorize the expression, so you feel more ready and comfortable-what a strange situation or conflict is thrown, he says, the founder and CEO of the Philadelphia-based leadership company Pyority Group.

If you can visit the conflict well, your colleagues will see you as someone who stays calm, keeps themselves responsible and helps solve problems. The more people want to work with you and look for your opinion, the more effective you will be.

CNBC searched a group of five communication experts, including Pyor, who shared their favorite expressions to use in three types of workplace conflicts:

When you need to start a difficult speech

Pyry says that approaching a peer or manager with a problem may feel scary. If you need to start a potentially difficult speech with a colleague, try using sentences that indicate that you are in the same problem solving team.

• “I am uncomfortable from the beginning, but I feel that it is important to emerge …” Pyry emphasizes that at the beginning of a conversation is a problem that you need to solve together at the beginning of a conversation, and says, “It is more important than our collective conquest.”

• “I’m looking for clarity.” Many conflicts can be caused by false communication. Pyry can ask for clarity when something feels uncertain, both help you feel less defensive and put you in a quiet way to align your goals.

• “I feel anxious.” If you know it is a difficult conversation towards your way, you may want to practice with someone you trust. Then ask if they are open to feedback. “Anxiety is a [totally] Normal emotion and an investment sign, “he explains.” Saying loudly can make you human and help you. “

When someone approaches you with a problem

If a peer or boss approaches you about a problem, try to ask some questions to understand the main obstacles before trying to solve the big problem, a Stanford University recommends Matt Abrahams, an organizational behavior instructor.

• “What does success look like?” İbrahims says he asks this question in order to better understand the goals of the other person. In this way, it can offer guidance compatible with its goals.

• “In the past, how did you deal with such situations?” When Abrahams has a solid understanding, he tries to encourage the other person to associate it with his own experiences. “[These questions] Take people away from personality challenges… And it focuses on a cooperation around a common goal, or he says.

• “I would love to talk about it later. Okay?” Alison Wood Brooks, an associate professor who examines negotiating and speaking skills at Harvard University, if you are too busy to devote all your attention if the other person is emotional or is currently currently involved. When you have some time to prepare, find a neutral, special place to discuss more. “It is extremely difficult to make a speech progress while the temperatures shine,” Wood Brooks says. It doesn’t take a few minutes or even a few days to cool and return.

When you need to keep cool during a dispute

If you notice that emotions are high in the middle of a workplace argument, you can re -direct the conversation by deploying expressions to make the other person laugh or feel.

• “I want to make sure I understand.” The most important thing to remember in the face of conflict is to initially confirm the feelings and perspectives of the other person at the beginning and then again.

• “It seems like the most important thing for you in this case …” Gavin likes to explain the most central point in the argument, so he can show that he listens.

• “It makes sense to feel like this.” Use this expression if the person you are talking about looks especially vulnerable or sad. Wood Brooks is leading with empathy.

• “How do you dare!” Wood Brooks, if the tone of the conversation is usually slightly hearted, you can also respond with volatility. “When someone raises a spicy or controversial point, I would like to say that-but you should drip it with the mockery on top, or he says. “If it is done well, it will always be laughing, which helps to cut immediately [tension]. ‘I love what you say. He took courage. Take this together. ‘”

Most of the workplace conflicts, Gavin, “matching expectations, priorities or incentives are caused by.” “You can solve them and prevent progress when you can talk about them effectively and bring these false alignments to the surface.

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