QUENTIN LETTS: Labour MPs listened to Starmer’s legalistic ‘yes, buts’ and many of them, I fear, heard only a wriggler
When the House of Commons is packed and icy silent, parts of it that other beers can’t reach can still shrivel. There’s nothing quite like this old, wood-lined chamber used to expose the overpowering and crush the tails of hypocrites.
Sir Keir Starmer, who had once presented himself with such an honest figure, stood in the middle of the room, brows furrowed. Our careful lawyer was in the defendant’s chair. Doubt was churning from its piers like a rising tide on the river. Damp, muddy doubt.
Things did not go well for the Prime Minister. To my exasperation, I expected him to survive this afternoon’s parliamentary statement without too much difficulty. After all, he has an enormous majority.
But in the hour of need (two and a half hours to be exact) that didn’t really matter.
Apart from a few awful marauders such as Leyton’s Calvin Bailey and Camborne’s Perran Moon, Labour’s backbenchers were unenthralled by their leaders.
This time the tactic of surprising small print runs did not work either. He left it too late for that. MPs listened to Sir Keir’s legal ‘yes but’s’ and I’m afraid most heard only one wriggler.
Kemi Badenoch’s long and detailed trial was heard very quietly, as were Sir Keir’s initial excuses.
The only uproar came after Sir Keir said: ‘I know many MPs in the House will find these facts incredible.’
Keir Starmer meets colleague’s angry glare with one of his own
The Prime Minister faced skepticism from his own platform and ridicule from opponents
Join the discussion
DO YOU THINK Starmer should know about the review issues?
Wow! A sudden burst of laughter from the opposition benches.
Ms Badenoch concluded by noting the Prime Minister’s strange lack of curiosity about Peter Mandelson’s security clearance.
Even the driest plum would feel a pinch of discomfort when he sat down. And that was before Mother of the Dynasty Diane Abbott brutally mocked Sir Keir’s “nobody told me” defence.
‘Why didn’t the Prime Minister ask?’ asked Mrs Abbott, laughing openly.
Baby, you should have seen the faces of the cabinet. Pure hatred (toward Diane). Anxiety. Incompetence.
This escalated further a few minutes later when John McDonnell (Lab, Hayes & Harlington) criticized the control Peter Mandelson and Morgan McSweeney maintained over Sir Keir. They ‘damaged’ the Labor Party.
Rachel Reeves, who was sitting next to Sir Keir, spat at Mr McDonnell and said: ‘YOU ruined the party!’ he said. Deputy Prime Minister David Lammy also joined in the abuse against Mr McDonnell.
It was 15.33 when the text ‘Description: Security Review’ appeared on the parliamentary announcement screens. This was actually the prime minister’s official statement about his own integrity.
Explanation: Are We Ruled by Liars or Are Civil Servants Totally Out of Control? Maybe both of these are true.
The upper floor gallery reserved for members of the House of Lords was full. Various former Whitehall dignitaries attended the meeting. Due to this incident, Blob’s fuse box caught fire.
Among his peers was Norman Lamont, who once said of John Major that he was ‘in office but not in power’.
Lord Lamont looked pleasantly amused when the Lib Dems’ Sir Ed Davey directed the same line at Sir Keir. What a low rent thief Davey is.
Gareth Snell (Lab, Stoke C) signaled distress by turning his attractive sock-clad right foot at high speed. Karl Turner (Body E) was harshly criticized by one of his more gullible former party colleagues, Neil Coyle (Lab, Bermondsey), for suggesting that trust in politicians had taken a hit because of ‘this sad saga’.
Tulip Siddiq (Lab, Hampstead and Highgate) was slumped in her chair, looking numbly to one side.
Ed Miliband looked at the tip of his nose and ran his index finger under his lower lip. Wes Streeting stood on tiptoe behind the Speaker’s Chair. Many Labor MPs had their arms crossed. They are fed up.
Lee Anderson (Referee, Ashfield) fired himself for saying the Prime Minister was a liar. Zarah Sultana (My Party, Coventry S) outshined Sir Keir by not only being kicked out but also suspended for calling him a ‘blatant liar’.
Please, this is a parliament. You can’t say that!
