VANESSA TAIT: Why this picture of sweet ‘hippy child’ Lilibet with her bare feet and hair flowing free makes my heart break for George, Charlotte and Louis. Maybe Meghan got it right after all…

Lilibet turned five and her doting parents Harry and Meghan posted some photos to celebrate the happy day. There’s nothing wrong with that, you think.

Here she is, on the grass in Montecito, in a light summer dress, her gorgeous flame red hair flowing free and unbrushed as she reaches out to touch an agapanthus branch in the garden. And there she was again, writhing in Harry’s arms, her hair hiding her face, Meghan leaning over them both. Totally fascinating.

However, a large portion of the online royal-watching population seems to be clutching their pearls. ‘Why can’t she comb her daughter’s hair? Or are shoes put on your feet? ‘Poor kid always looks messy,’ says one social media comment. ‘The clothes look like they were rescued from the bin,’ adds another. ‘There’s nothing cozy or hippy about it. ‘More like neglect and bad parenting,’ commented a third, after worrying about Lilibet being exposed to athlete’s foot, fungi and parasites on her little bare feet.

Oh, let me get some rest.

And I say this as someone who has had a lot to say about Harry and Meghan over the years, and will undoubtedly say it again. You won’t find me defending every decision they make; not the books, not the Netflix series, nor the ability to complain that has characterized their recent careers. But none of this is Lilibet’s fault. He’s five years old and he’s doing what five-year-olds are supposed to do: running barefoot and picking flowers. He’s free to be a kid and I couldn’t be happier.

I am sure that many of those who criticize these photographs will also complain about the pressures placed on modern children in other contexts. We worry that childhood will disappear. We complain that today’s young people grow up too quickly. We worry about social media, image consciousness, and impossible standards of perfection. But as soon as we see that a child – even a famous child – is unaware of all this, we criticize him for not looking flashy enough.

What would her fifth birthday photo look like if Lilibet’s parents had remained working members of the Royal Family? I can tell you exactly. A formal portrait taken in a well-appointed room in Kensington or Windsor. Lilibet was wearing a smocked Liberty print dress, probably pale blue, with a white Peter Pan collar.

Her feet were covered in white socks and round-toed leather shoes from the upmarket children’s store Trotters, as every royal child had for the last forty years. Her red hair was combed to within an inch of her life and pulled back in neat braids tied with ribbons to match the dress. Positioned by the royal photographer. He’s told to smile – and smile no matter what he’s actually feeling.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of this. This is what happens when you’re born into one of the most famous families in the world and we all hold adorable photos of George, Charlotte and Louis; their side parts, their shiny shoes, and the overall vibe of characters from a children’s book from another era brought to life. It’s a tradition and tradition is important.

But there is no escaping the fact that this is also a performance that carries the full weight of royal expectation. Even poor Louis gets annoyed by this sometimes. I bet he would rather be barefoot in the garden than stand out on the palace balcony.

Lilibet, on the contrary, seems to have had a more normal and happier childhood.

In another photo, Lilibet writhes in Harry’s arms, her hair hiding her face, as Meghan leans next to them both. Totally fascinating, writes Vanessa Tait

I raised my own three children mostly barefoot in our garden in the Cotswolds. When they put on their boots, they quickly ruined their clothes in puddles; I’ve learned not to bother dressing them in cute things. Bonpoint landed in Primark very quickly.

My middle child’s special superpower was climbing trees; I was told that if I was willing to spend hours on the indoor climbing wall, he could turn that skill into a career. She also once cut her own red hair into a messy mess when I wasn’t looking and was soon discovered for an ‘edgy’ photoshoot. It turns out that perfection isn’t always what it sounds like.

Some of the most beloved photos in any family album are the imperfect ones: gaping smiles, windswept hair, ice cream under a T-shirt, a look completely engrossed in whatever adventure unfolds. These pictures are real and unscripted.

Lilibet’s hair is disheveled because of her childhood. There are much worse things to blame.

So I say: Happy birthday to him.